Started With A Kik

10 = This Is More Complicated than the Visual System Pathway

This is dedicated to xSquidgyFalalax. Thank you very much for voting the previous chapters. It means a lot to me. Kamsahamnida! :)

* * * * * * * * * *

C H A P T E R T E N

This Is More Complicated than the Visual System Pathway

This was not what I expect when I arrived here.

I expected Gregory, Rosewood's loyal chauffeur. He was with our family even before I was born. My mother trusted him - which was kind of rare because my mother doesn't trust anyone so easily. My dad saw him as a friend and not just some ordinary driver. He gave me a ride everyday to the university, to the hospital and to wherever I go. He smoked cigarettes everyday although I told him already that every stick he consumed cuts an average of eleven minutes off his life. He would just shrug, flashed his crooked, yellowish teeth and say, "At least, I lived my life the way I want it to be," and I leaved it like that. He was a man full of life, albeit he was already in his 50s. He threw jokes and sometimes made fun of my mother that earned a laugh from me. He bought me my favorite chocolate brownie flavored ice cream when I failed my Human Anatomy and Physiology test last year. He was an amazing man. He was a chauffeur, a friend and a family.

But no, no matter how many times I wished for Gregory to appear out of nowhere and save me from the situation, I was still here, sitting across him. Across Jeremy.

Kill me now.

"Here's your caramel macchiato," a young man pulled me out from my thoughts. I said thank you to him. He also brought Jeremy's black coffee.

My original plan was to head straight home and to sleep. Instead, Jeremy asked me to have coffee and maybe have a talk about us? I really wanted to sleep but after seeing his face, with dark eye bags underneath his eyes, it was clear that he hadn't had much sleep these past days and I was not in the position to let his offer down. Once I said yes, I think I saw some spark in his cerulean blue eyes and with that I knew I made the right decision.

I could sense that he was feeling uncomfortable as it was for me. The thing was, everything felt so awkward. The fact that as of now we're the only customers here and Jeremy's constant tapping on the wooden table like it was a drum - a habit he did whenever he was nervous and me biting my lower lip as I rummaged my brain for the right words to say, made me realized that this wasn't a good decision at all. I was not prepared for this. Sure, I made up my mind to talk to him that's why I came home, but I hadn't plan on seeing him once I touched my feet to the holy ground of the middle of nowhere. Not in the airport. Not in this cute coffee shop. Not now, not here. Maybe in the next day or in the next few days. Any time as long as it buys me more time to think.

Silence stretched over us and we hadn't even touched our coffees. We were lost in our own thoughts. I was completely caught off guard like the time when he proposed to me. I should have expected this since it was my mother who called and demanded for me to be here.

I felt that I should be the one to say something first, but the words were caught up in my throat. I was being careful. I didn't want to hurt him again. Just by looking at him conjured the guilt I buried for the past days. His dark raven hair was disheveled. His necktie was loose and he lost that charm that attracts people to him and I was the person behind his pain. We're on a precarious relationship where everything could be burned down with just a flick of fire and I don't want that to happen. I wanted back the old us.

"Crystal," his voice was so broken and I felt the guilt rising like lava ready to be spit out from a volcano.

And before I know it, I was sobbing like a three year old kid. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! You don't deserve any of this! I'm sorry... Jeremy I'm sorry!" I cried out loud. I didn't care if the young waiter, his co - workers or even his manager will see me like a dark cloud pouring so much water.