Funny lines

43 0 0

by 1800-staygold

by 1800-staygold

Authors note: Okay so, my inspiration for this was by my very best bud _Brittana_ She made Glee funny lines quotes, so in NO WAY am I trying to take her ideas. I asked her permission beforehand. Alright thanks❤️
-Dani

Daryl
-You shoot me again, you best pray I'm dead.
-Rick: We don't kill the living! Daryl: Funny, Comin' from a man with a gun to my head.
-People in hell want slurpees.
-Man I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk.
-Look at him. Hanging up there like a big piñata.

Rick
-Rick: Oh well, I'll come too! Michonne: You were unconscious yesterday! Rick: maybe, but I'm awake today!
-Now if you'll excuse me I'm just gonna sleep some more.
-Rick: Or we could just go! Michonne: You wanna go?! Rick: ......Nah we can do this
- Excuse me?

Carl
-Walker inside got my shoe, but didn't get me.
-Hey ASSHOLE Hey SHIT FACE!
-They had names when they were alive, duh there dead now.
-They're not people, they're not pets, don't name them.
-I win, pay up!

Glenn (R.I.P)
-Hey dumb ass, yeah you, in the tank, you cozy in there?
-It's the only place in the building that goes down, but I'm never going down there...who would want to right? *everyone stares at Glenn* Oh. Great.
-Daryl: You got some balls for a China man. Glenn: I'm Korean. Daryl: Whatever.
-You're old, I MEAN um, you know things.
- Glenn: I could use a vacation. You know, our anniversary is coming up. Maggie:it is?
Glenn: One of these days.

Abraham (R.I.P)
-You got a damn mouth on you, you know that? What else you got?
-Suck my nuts.
-You'd have better luck picking up a turd by its clean end!
-There's a vast ocean of shit that people don't know shit about.
-There's a shit storm behind door A, and a storm of shit behind door B.

Tyresse
-I don't like killing walkers on the fence, so I'm gonna go out, and kill them face to face. *later* I didn't like that either...
-Yeah that's all I could find...he's a real wise guy.

Michonne
-Michonne: and I found this *hands rick electric razor* michonne: your face is loosing this war.
- Rick: it'll hold Michonne: well that's good considering where were standing.
-Michonne: do you have any tooth paste left? Rick: I'm not sure, considering someone's been borrowing it for the past two weeks.
-*looks at food* get ready, let's eat!
-*glares* you could have just taken the formula.

Jesus
-Sitting on these steps, looking at this painting, waiting for your mom and dad to get dressed.
-*walker almost bites Daryl* Jesus:duck Daryl:thanks! *punches*
-Daryl:that son of a bitch is on the roof! Rick:hold on! *steps on brake*... * Jesus flys off roof*
-look we got of to a bad start...
-Paul but my friends used to call me Jesus...your pick!

Negan
-also when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people...you killed more of my people...Not cool...not cool...you have no idea how not cool that shit is.
-oh damn, were you two together, well that sucks (not cool negan...not cool)
-This is Lucille and she is...Awesome.
-CALLING IT *hits walker with Lucille* ah easy peasy LEAMON SQUEEZY!
-it's gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon...

Carol
-what's the difference between bear nuts and deer nuts? Bear nuts are a dollar fifty, deer nuts are just under a buck!
-yeah...that's it...

Merl
-Blondey...damn lookin' good!
-Now, How's about a big hug for your old pal merl?
-I got a way with words don't I?
-I want you to succeed I do, but if you keep announcing to the world that your pissing your pants I'm gonna have to knock your teeth in!
-that there is the sound of a couple of coos making love sweet love you know what I mean?

That's it for funny lines for now! Next is quotes but I will update and make a funny line part two! Promise! Also tell me what you think of this book I'd love to here your thoughts on it🤔
Anyway I'm out!

-Dani