I love him. He loves her.

1.

"Hey did you know that Matthew and Taylor are together?" Crack. You heard that? That's the sound of my heart breaking.

"Oh really n..no I didn't knew that." I faked a smile towards my friend Lucas. "Yeah but he told me you were after him like you wanted a date but then he couldn't make it or something." What? I heard that right? He wanted to go on a date with me but he couldn't make it. Probably because I'm not good enough. Like always.

I looked down. " Well I guess that doesn't matter now right Lucas?" I asked him and he nodded. "I got to work again you know." I walked away from him and I went to a room so no one could see me sad and almost crying.

After I had my 'breakdown' I went to work. And at my shift I saw the person I really don't want to see. Matthew. " Oh hey Lydia, how are you?" He said smiling. I, ofcourse, fake - smiled back and said. "I'm fine but I'm late for work so I gotta go. Bye!" And as fast as I could I ran away to my spot.

After my shift I went to my car. I sat down and sighed. "Lydia what are you doing?" I felt my tears coming again and felt them fall on my legs. At that moment I heard someone knocking on the glass of my car. I dried my tears fast and looked who it was. Matthew. Crap. He opened my door. "Lydia you ok? I saw you crying." He said. I went out of my car to talk. "Yeah I'm fine don't worry. " I said. "What's up? " I asked him and I saw him worried. "You sure?" I nodded.
" I have to tell you something. Me and Taylor are together."I looked down. ''Well, congrats I guess.'' I sighed. ''I got to go I'll see you at work.'' I went to my car as I felt him grabbing my arm. I looked back at him and saw we were very close with our faces. ''Wh.. what are you doing?'' I said and he looked at me. ''I know Lucas told you I went to a date with Taylor. And more. Why?'' He said. 

''Why what?'' I said and I pushed him away. ''Yes I knew about you and Taylor. So what? I also knew you wanted to go on a date with me but instead you go with Taylor. But you know what? Who cares?! You're with her! So just forget something could have ever happened between us.'' I went to my car and drove to my house, crying. 

As I was home I hear my parents fight again. It hurts me seeing that they fight.. I go to my room and see I got a text. 

M: Lydia, I'm sorry I grabbed your arm like that. Hope we could still be friends.

L: K. We're colleagues.

I turned off my phone and went to shower. ''Lydia why are you showering don't you know you won't get any prettier!?'' Gee thanks ma. I finished showering and saw a razor. Should I do it? I mean no one loves/likes me.

I grabbed the razor, put it against my skin when...

To be continued...