In the end

The End

Okay, so I started this story for kinda like weird reasons that meant something at the time. I was in a weird state of mind and kinda depressed and I figured if I wrote about some things then other things I was doing at the time would also stop. And the story ended up kinda turning accidentally into a story about personal things that happened. And now it's to the part where I was going to talk about some people but not mention their names. But I kinda had a hard time writing about them. The first persons not even here. And I'm not quite ready to write about that. The second person is but she won't ever see this and idk how to explain what I feel about her because it's just complicated. The third persons a cool friend and he'd be weird if he knew I did this 😂. The fourth person I don't even talk to anymore and it's sad because she's just gone and idek if it's cool to say hi to her or not but I hope she's happy. The fifth person is my mom and she's easy to write about but who wants to know about that? The sixth person wasn't even there, but was kinda, when I started to write this. She told me she'd hang around when we first kinda met and after a weird situation happened told me to fuck off and I need to "work my life out". I write paras to her now, basically everyday and so idk, do I take all the screenshots of paras that I write and put them on here?

But that was then and this is now. I'm not in the weird, depressed mood I was in earlier. There's still a lot of things I wish I could change and there's things that I wish I could do and tell people but the truth is, for whatever reason, I can't.

So to end the story I'll tell u what I think happens when you die. It has something to do with your soul and did it find love in its life? Yeah I know. Kinda cringe, probably some of y'all will think - kinda gayyyy n whatever else but I'm telling ya. If you've never been in love and really had someone be a part of your life then it's not really gay or cringe, it's just fucking amazing.

I think we all basically go through our life needing love. When you don't get it, it usually fucks you up and you try and get it from other things. And I don't mean just love from a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or whatever. I mean it as in everything. From your family and friends and idk. Everyone almost. So you go through your life finding love from these people and when you do that person shares some of their soul with you and you do the same with them. And you do that your whole life. And some people just share more of their soul than others. And everyone that loved you shared their soul with you and everyone you loved you shared your soul with them. And all this stuff (soul, love, idk.. stuff) grows and grows in you as you get older until one day you die. And then it goes out of you and without getting all complicated it goes into other people. And every so often, something really fucking amazing happens. Some of your soul that's inside someone else ends up meeting a part of someone else's soul that you helped fill with love and that's what soulmates are. It's a piece of the love that you shared with someone else in another life getting a chance to meet again. And when you find them it's the most amazingest thing ever and it makes you realize that the simplest thing, sharing yourself with someone else and being in love, is one of the most mind blowing things ever. And so that's what happens when you die.

Just like this crazy ass girl that somehow puts up with my weirdness, makes me laugh and has intense 2am deep convos with me says, "Go be nice to people. Be kind. Help them smile. Show them some love and who knows?".Maybe a bit of you will meet that other part of you sometime?

Life's fucking short but when you find those soulmates it makes it worth it. So go be good to people.

Peace, motherfuckers ✌🏻