Lilly was at school today. We ignored each other, or glare one another down as we passed in the halls, but we didnt talk. All of the girls I sat with talked shit on her and Lydia to make me feel better, but I could tell that they didnt mean any of those things and were just saying rude things in hopes of helping me feel better. None of the hurtful words towards either of the two helped, the thing that hurt the most was the fact that nothing happened to Lilly. The school did nothing, they allowed bullying to happen right in front their eyes and nothing happened at all. Not even an in school suspension. Now, not only did I feel as though nobody in my class liked me, but even the school staff didnt even care.
The thing that kept running through my mind was if they did nothing, then they thought I was lying. I was in tears, nonstop. What I want to know is how could I fake something like that. Crying in front of the class would make me embarrassed. Im not an attention seeker. I dont even talk to my classmates half of the time, why would I want attention from them. Sure, I got it, but not that I wanted it.
During lunch, I just blocked out what anyone said and just focused on Why? Why me? Honestly, what had I done to deserve this. Then I thought of James. If he had stopped LIlly from talking to me one day during 'fresh air' in the gym, I couldve avoided the horrible day that happened yesterday. If people say "Everything happens for a reason." I wanted to know what the reason for yesterday was, but I could come up with none. So I sat in silence. I sat alone. I didnt care anymore.
"Hey Alice!" I hear Anna say knocking me out of my horrible trance. By this time everyone had stopped talking about Lilly and Lydia. "What's wrong?" Whats wrong? I went through hell yesterday and she just continued to talk about something that was really stupid, such as nails, or boys.
"Nothing. Just thinking about yesterday." I said too easily. I smiled, or at least fake smiled. From now on, I will try to hide in the shadows and not seek too much attention. I wont consider anyone my friend, except for Piper. If I gain friends, I will get hurt again. If I trust the people who didnt stand up for me, who is to say that they wont stand up for me when I need it again.
It hurt to tell myself these things, but it was true. You can't trust anybody. No matter how much they prove to be faithful, they could always just turn around and bite you in the ass. I trust Piper, because you do need somebody and I guess that I can trust someone Ive known since Kindergarten and been friends with ever since.
(Hey, guys!!! I know its been forever since Ive updated.
Also 2 days ago was 4/15. My day was horrible at first, but that was because I was pitying myself. It was horrible. I will write a few more chapters tonight and yea... I hope you guys liked this chapter, please vote for it if you did.
And, one more thing. Mistakes is one read away from 1000 reads oh my gosh thank you guys!!!! I love you all so much, I didnt think that I deserved it but appearently the book did.
Bai >.< Xx. ~Tara)
