Makeup remover wipes S.M.

Chapter 21

She waits kneeling behind me and watching as I do all I can. Her arms resting on my shoulders while I sit in shock she kisses my temple trying to reassure the situation saying it doesn't matter and maybe they can pull more than one sample. I feel bad but she doesn't care, she just keeps saying that she wants me healthy but regardless of how I look I won't feel great knowing all that's happened. "It's ok baby, it happens to lots of people." Her hands roaming chest. "And it doesn't mean I'll love you any differently." She rolls her eyes while I keep trying, trying harder than ever. I've never had to try to get hard before. It usually just happens when I look at her.

"I could do it last night," I sit in a panic and she nods. "Why can't I do it now?" I groan giving up letting my head fall against her shoulder.

"It's ok teddy bear, I don't care if you can do this or not, I don't need sex to survive." She moves giving me my boxers and then pulling on the pair of my boxers she was wearing. "But I do need you," she throws a bra on, she wears her black mom bra which she hates.

"I need you too," I bring her down closer to me carefully kissing her soft sweet pink lips. Everyone thinks she has implants and has had plastic surgery and it's really annoying, I don't let her read her comments and she doesn't care. Some times I'll read the nicer ones to her when she's feeling down. She has some really good fans that would recognize her without makeup even a lot of my fans would and they often tell her she's beautiful without it. I wish she could see the beauty that everyone else does.

"Come on," she pulls one of my shirts on. "Lets go downstairs and have coffee in the back. It's a beautiful morning." She smiles standing by the window. She turns to me and sighs. "We can't be sad forever," she kisses me softly before walking off. They all have points, I can't be sad forever, she wasn't. She was only sad I wouldn't let her be with our sick baby boy.

"You know she's upset too." My mom sits down while the others watch from the door. "She's trying to focus on the positives."

"I'm almost thirty mom," I shake my head a little. "I can figure out my own marriage." I turn to face her, her tears eyes.

"She's hurting just as much as you, she's trying to be strong for you." She holds my hand and my bicep.

"She doesn't care mom," I roll my eyes a little.

"She went out, for four hours last night and came home crying." Her hand falls on my shoulder. "She's being strong for you, you're always strong for her."

"She's emotional mom, she can't not cry for any longer than a couple seconds." I groan a little. "I wanted her to cry, I was expecting tears," I sound beyond selfish and I know that. "I wanted at least one thing in my life to be reliable."

"You want tears?" She stands at the door her hands folded together and her foot digging into the ground. "I've shed a lot more than I care to admit." She stares down.

"Come here," our parents rush out as she waddles in just like our baby boy does.

"I just wanted to be strong, I wanted to help you not make you upset." Her head falls on my shoulder while she cries. "I'm scared," she mumbles. "I'm really really scared and I don't know what to do."

"Come with me," I smile a little as if all of the jumbled pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place. "Come to my chemo appointment." I hold her hand.

"Why would I want to do that?!" The look on her face, she's so confused but as she looks at me, she understands it too. "I'll come," she nods laying on my shoulder. "For support."

-

She kisses my head while I lay sleepily against her shoulder. I didn't sleep well last night and I was up quickly this morning, when we tried to have sex. She wants so badly to give me another baby. "Mr. Mendes," the nurse calls and I stand slowly after Reese moves off of me of corse. "And you brought a friend," she smiles giving Reese a sincere nod.

"Don't cry ok?" Reese winks at me and I nod, I know she's only teasing but I can't make her any promises. I'm more than nervous but having her here, having her happy is really helpful.

"Stay happy for me love?" I raise an eyebrow. She nods clinging to my arm. Skylar had to be left at home because Reese feared bringing her would result in everyone's tears.

"I might go a little mommy on you if you start to cry, don't get mad." She attaches our lips momentarily.

"So we're going to have to ask that you remove your shirt," I was told it would be an IV in my arm and that would be it. "We're going to give it to you in your chest instead of your arm." Reese's eyes go wide and fill with tears but I smile at her almost pleading her to stay happy.

"I'll be right back," she nods walking out quickly. Her sobs are all that's audible in the room but they only last a few minutes and she comes back in with her same glowing smile. "I'm sorry baby," she leans her head I'm my shoulder staring at the needle like thing in my chest. "Teddy bear?" She looks up and I look down and towards her. "I'm scared."

"Me too pumpkin, me too." I nod staring at the small thing against my skin. It's cold and they say it's gonna stay there, and that nothing should come in contact with it, they say they'll tape it but tape isn't strong enough to keep it there on its own. Which means no more head against my chest, no more carrying my baby girls up to bed like that no more carrying my boys to bed, no more cuddles from my love. She's too used to being against my chest and I'm too used to having it pressed against her. She probably won't even sleep with me.

"Get better quickly," her hand touches the other side of my chest while she stares at the device as well. "And once this comes off," she stares at the plastic thing. "I promise you lots of cuddles."