A heartless thing to do

Competitive

"WE CAN DO THIS GIRLS" I shouted.

We are waiting to go on. We are competing against some of the best teams and we need to win.  I kept in my mind that we need to have fun but the competitiveness in me was starting to take over.

"Girls, just remember to have fun... try your hardest though."

I repeated, " We can do this girl!"

"WELCOME, FROM CHEER EXTREME, THE ALL STARS!!!"

The crowd was cheering and it made me more nervous. We an out waving and jumping  on the mats. We got into position and the music started. I performed to the best of my ability to get the satisfaction of winning and to get that gold medal. We ran off smiling and waving to the crowd, thanking them for their cheering.

Once we got off, we got some water and watched the replay back.

We did good. I was so happy.  We didn't have any falls, and it showed everyone how good we actually are, and that we don't just fail as everyone remembers from the past.

It came to awards time and we all sat down, waiting for them to read out our division.

"OPEN, COED CHEER."

"This is us girls"

We all joined hands and prayed for the winning. They read out sixth, down to third.

"IN THIRD PLACE IS, drum roll please, ... CHEER ATHLETICS, PANTHERS!"

"IN SECOND PLACE IS...  CHEER EXTREME ALL STARS!"

I acted excited but I wasn't. I wasn't excited at all. We came second. Are you kidding, losers come second. I kept it to myself. I just smiled and went up to grab the trophy and the silver medal. I wanted gold. I've only ever come first and that's a good medal. It's my first second place, my first silver medal. I guess it will do.

The photo got taken and everyone went home.

I went to bed and cried. I still can't believe I got second. "I'm such a loser", I thought. We don't deserve this. We don't deserve to come second. We should come first. We are undefeated and now is the time we come second, during nationals. I'm so angry and can't seem to hold onto it. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed. I kept screaming until my voice was gone.

I looked up from my pillow and realised that I wasn't actually screaming. I had imagined myself screaming.
I was so angry all I wanted to do was scream, but I know that I had stopped myself to avoid getting yelled at by my mum.

I woke up the next day with swollen eyes, from the tears that had soaked my pillow, the tears that soaked my cheeks and the tears that made my voice hoarse. I couldn't speak. The screaming and crying made me lose my voice, they made me weaker, they made me more angry but they also made me stronger.