You were walking home from your boring day of high school it's near the end of your senior year and your parents decided you still have to show up which meant having to walk a hour home because nobody would be home to pick you up sighing to yourself you continuing walking until you hear somebody shouting at something or you as it said "Hey you mind helping me up!" It didn't really sound like a request more like a order but you look around anyway spotting nobody "I'm down here" you look down and spot a pickle you walk closer to it and crouch down to inspect it "Took you long enough" you shriek realizing the pickle had a face and could talk "Could you be any louder" the pickle man? Says sounding highly annoyed "no need to be rude your the one who needs help not me jackass" you said just as annoyed "fine fine just fucking help me up" you decided to help the pickle man and pick him up he seems to be looking around "-burping noises?- How the hell did i end up this far away from my garage dam if I just had that syringe" he speaks loudly to himself you cough and decide to speak up "well did you just want to be picked up or do you actually need something" you question "Well since I can't get back to my home on my own you'll have to take me there" he's says demandingly "eh fine your lucky I'm bored" you tell him not wanting to hold onto the pickle anymore you place him in your pocket he tells you the coordinates of his house and it's a little out of your way but you begin walking.
-20 minutes later-
Damn this is taking to long and now I'll have a hour and a half till I get home you mentally complain
You finally arrive 10 minutes later at the pickle mans house you walk inside his garage and place him on the table "NOw that you brought me back to my garage you can get the fuck out" the pickle rudely states and at this point your beyond giving a fuck about life and you just stare at him with a glare on your face "What do you want a kiss or something as compensation just leave" "hm I think I'd like a kiss actually" you state and pick him up the pickle man closes his eyes and weirdly puckers his lips like he wants it to be over now and you lean in and
-CHomp-
You bit the side of the pickles face off
"-burping and slight pain groans- WHAT THE HELL" the pickle screams and tired of hearing him you bit the rest of him till theirs nothing left and proceed to your house and go to sleep.
The next morning you wake up and head to school finding missing postersl for someone's grandpa a boy approaches you giving you a missing paper and he asks if you've seen a pickle around you look at the photo of the missing person and realize Oh shit that unibrow you fuckin ate this boys grandpa
You decide it's for the best to pretend like it never happened and tell the boy no and leave.
The end.
