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by FrensDontLie

by FrensDontLie

Dan's POV

Journal Entry #1

9/12/2017

Purple. To Most People It's Just A Color, But Not For Me.

Purple Is Made Of Red And Blue, Two Ordinary Colors, Well Not To Me, Blue Represents Sadness Of Course, And Red Represents Hatred- Or To Be More Specific, Self Hatred.

Depression & Anxiety Are What Caused This- Well More Things Too- Here Is A Story About How I Fell In The Dark Sad Hole That Goes Along The Name Of Depression.

When I Was In Grade 7, I Was A Happy And Gullible Kid, I Had A Crush On One Of The Most Popular People In Secondary School, His Name Was Alec, Almost Every Student In My School Knew About My Homosexuality Which Means I Was Bullied Every Now And Then, At That Time I Stayed Strong And Tried To Fight Back, Yet I Was Still One Of The Most Joyful Kids In That School, I Didn't Let Them Bring Me Down.

Around The Middle Of The Year I Got A Note In My Locker, From Alec, It Said To Meet Him At The Main Entrance Of School During Lunch, You Don't Know How Happy I Was, Throughout The Whole Day Until Lunch I Was So Joyful, Happy Is An Underestimate, The Time Came To Meet Alec, A Skipped To The Entrance Of The School And Saw Him There With Roses, I Ran Up To Him, Here Is What Happened:

"H-Hi.., You Left This Note In My Locker." I Said While Holding The Note Up "I Know, I'm Glad You Could Make It." He Said With A Fake Smile That I Was Oblivious To, "I Need To Ask You Something." He Said Still 'Smiling' "Go Ahead." I Said "Will You Do The Honor Of Being My Lover?" He Asked, At This Point I Had Tears Streaming Out My Eyes "Yes Yes Yes!" I Repeated Over And Over. That's When His Smile Changed, To A More Mischievous Smile, Soon After He Started Evil-ly Laughing.

"Faggot." He Said Through His Laughter, My Eyes Widened At This Sick Joke, Then Next Thing I Know, I Feel Something Hit My Cheek, I Look To The Ground To See The Roses He Had In His Hand Not To Long Ago, Out Of The Corner Of My Eyes I Saw His Friends Step From Behind The Pillar, How Did I Not See Them Before?? They Started Throwing Kicks And Punches At Me, At This Point I Was On The Ground In A Puddle Of my Own Tears And Blood, This Felt Like Eternity, But I Was Soon Met With Darkness, That Sadly Didn't Last As Long As I Wanted...

I, Daniel James Howell, Am Afraid Of Love.

First Chapter Complete! This Is Going To Be A Journal/School AU, This Chapter Focuses On Dan, Next Chapter Will Be Focused On Philly

Enjoy~