What She Never Said

Fair is Fair

 Shit! Why did I let this happen. He's going to hate to me. I'm such a slut.

A Few Months Earlier*

I can't stand the sight of him, but I'm still here. What kind of hold does this guy have over me. How the fuck can I stay with a bastard that would hurt me like that. 'I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking,' he says. 'I would never hurt you like that again,' he pleads. It wasn't supposed to happen in the first place you - fucking - prick. My boyfriend, of only a year, not to mention my longest relationship, cheats. Is that why I'm still here, because he was the first real guy I fit into my future plans. The only time I ever used we, or us in a speaking about plans ten years down the line. I didn't even cry when he told me- I didn't yell, I wasn't even angry, its like I just lost my soul. Maybe that's how it feels to lose everything all at once, you don't even feel it. But here I am, still in his arms, letting him hold me and kiss me like everything is perfect. Putting on a show wasn't part of my plans though, so no matter how much love he gave my face would remain the same. Giving him this hard, cold, still look as he smiled like his betrayal never happened. It's only been three weeks since he told me and a month since it happened. Oh that time span, the week between when I got to know and this prick let a whore sit on his cock! The same week he decided he's gonna make love to me and ignore the fact that...Wow I need a chill pill, or to slit his throat. One or the other, either will work for me. "Babe what's wrong?" I looked up to see those sparkling blue eyes filled with questions. "You okay?" I didn't realise that I'd been angrily twisted a plastic bottle until he took it from me. "I'm fine," using the most well known lie any girl can give- I grabbed my school bag and went off to class.

***

*BACK TO THE PRESENT*

I stood near a bus stop waiting for James to exit the pharmacy. 'I can't believe my first time taking the morning after pill, is because I cheated,' I thought to myself while grazing my teeth on the side of my nail. Its not like he came inside of me or anything, it was more like just in case something went wrong. I mean who wants to risk getting pregnant by a guy who isn't even your boyfriend, but, oh boy that drama about who's child it might be, is for another chapter. Anyway, I know he cheated on me, but cheating on him probably wasn't the best idea I've had. I saw James exit the pharmacy which was across the street and tilted his head to the left, suggesting that I follow him. 'Where are we going? " I asked when I finally caught up to him. "You wanna take it in the middle of the street?" he asked stretching the bag towards me as he stared down at me. " No but.."

"I thought so. Calm down, I'm not gonna kill you," he said stretching his arm around my neck and pulling me close. What happened next is really of no importance, but the week after when Bae found out, now thats a story to be told another day.