Problem Addict

Is this real?

Beads of sweat roll down my forehead profusely as they sting rolling into my eyes. I'm trembling so bad that my vision is blurry and my breathing is heightened it feels like I only have limited air. I swallow the lump in my throat and it feels like I'm about to vomit immediately.

"Casey! Stop, don't do this okay? Please just listen to me." I can hear the words ever so faintly in the background of my loudly beating heart, so loud I think it's going to come right out of my chest.

I scan the room and see Jay lying there on the ground, he's not moving and he's not breathing. He looks so peaceful, like when we were kids. For a moment I'm lost as I stare at my big brother, tears start to welt in my eyes and sting my face as they stream down. The taste of salt and bitterness as they land on my lips.

"Casey.. please, don't do this we will figure it out please, I can't lose you.." his voice trails off into sobs, "I.. I love you Casey.." I whip my head around and stare at Malcom as those last words leave his mouth. He's on his knees crying and begging me. His sky blue eyes bluer than ever now tear filled and staring at me, with sorrow and pain. I swallow another lump in my throat, and take a deep breath. "I-I'm so sorry Mal.." I manage to whisper with my raspy voice. I slowly turn back around, and he's there, sitting against the torn walls, wounded badly from a stab wound. He's dying, he takes his hand off the wound and stares at it. His blood covered hand isn't even trembling. No. He looks up to me and smirks. The knife I'm holding violently starts to shake from the trembles in my body.

"I guess you do have it in you girl." He says with a smirk as he winces in pain holding the gash on his stomach. "You are my daughter after all huh?" He narrowed his eyes at me as he spoke, giving a serious yet satisfied look. My blood started to boil, DAUGHTER? I may be blood but I'm no daughter of yours I thought to myself.

Mano painfully and slowly slides up the wall a little to straighten himself out, through winces and after one deep breath he says "I guess you ain't nothing like yer mother girl, yer mother wouldn't have the gull to kill me, see.. yer just like me, you got the cold heart. That's why she ain't here no more, but here you are, I knew those beatins' would toughen ya up."

He let's out a little giggle of satisfaction and winces immediately gripping his stomach.

I started seeing red, I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to suffer. Everything inside me started to boil every single emotion flooding up to the surface, the trembling turned into violent shakes and I closed my eyes really tight. "I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU. FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU!!!!" I screamed at the very top of my lungs, my voice already almost gone was now just loud raspy whispers. Anger coursed through my body like a bolt of lightning, I charged for him, immediately. Holding the knife in position to go right through his heart. When suddenly I was stopped by a familiar voice.

"CASEY, HONEY NO!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, I felt as though time stood still in this moment and I'm sure I look like I just seen a ghost. I turn around slowly, half scared to see what I'm excepting half ready to throw up from the adrenaline.

I went into a blank stare, I was looking at her but through her at the same time. She stood there, tear stained cheeks and makeup running down. She had her hands gripping her mouth as she was trembling with fear. Was this.. was this a dream?

"M-mo-m....!?"