"It's been 30 years.
I can still hear his voice.
He tells me to keep going, to keep writing, not to let it win.
Ya see, he bought me a journal to write my thoughts down.
He told me to just open the journal, to just start writing whenever I went away.
He thought it would keep me here, with him.
He was such a strong husband and father. He cared so much.
Actually he cared too much. He cared about me for so long that he stopped caring enough for himself.
July 9, 1963... That's the day it happened. The day I lost him. The day he left me.
He thought it would be a good idea to go outside... he thought it would help me remember.
We took a walk down the driveway, that was such a long driveway...
I could smell the summer air and I could feel the breeze on my face.
I suddenly saw that old Ford we used to take everywhere.
I remembered it all, I was so happy to see it, so I asked him to take a picture beside of it.
He seemed a little tired but he just wanted to make me happy, I was there for once.
He stood in front of the car and I snapped a picture to help me remember when I did leave again, I always leave... I wish I could just stay with him, in moments like these, forever.
We went up the driveway, and that's when it happened... he left me.
He started breathing heavily, then he stopped for a second, he fell to the ground, and left me...
I yelled and screamed as loud as I could, but we lived so far away from everyone. It was useless.
My dear husband who I kept leaving, left me...
He took such good care of me, such good care that he forgot to take care of himself.
That's why it happened, the heart-attack.
I did this to my loving husband who just wanted my happiness...
Now I'm stuck here in this god-awful place they call a nursing home...
They should just go ahead and call it a morgue for people that are still technically alive but might as well be dead.
I'm writing this journal entry as I believe it's gonna be my last. I'm weak. And I don't wanna leave anymore.
I wanna go while I'm here.
Whoever finds this, please take as good care of this journal as my husband did for me.
I left you this picture, so you can remember it as I do.
I'll be going now."
