What If I

The Cell.

They drag me out of the car and bring me to the front desk. A lady opens up a cell. They take my keys, my phone and lock up the door. I get claustrophobic in small spaces just like this. I breathe in and out, in and out, my breaths getting heavier each time. I hold onto the bars as I hyperventilate. I sit, staring at the empty cells next to me. Why don't they kill me? I'd prefer to die than be imprisoned here. I get up and bang my head against the wall a few times to ease my suicidal thoughts. I stop. And sit back down.

I lay down on the cold hard ground and close my eyes. And fall into a deep sleep. For the first time I see people. I see me. I see Corey. I see a gun. I see him dead. I run and take the gun with me. I shoot at the people I see on the street. I see cops and shoot at them too. I shoot myself in the head. And laugh while doing so. I laugh and laugh and laugh. And I wake up.

I am still on the floor. I hug my knees and sit up. I tuck my head in and close my eyes. Just as I do, I hear the door unlock.

"Miss Periera, you are free to go. But will be under house arrest for the next week. You were declared legally insane at the time of the incident. We will have someone check on you everyday." A man unlocks the door and lets me out.

I run out only to be caught by the officer. He walks beside me and to his car. He drives all the way to Josh's house. He knocks on the door and Josh opens it.

"Joshua Dun, Moriah Periera should not be let out of this house for 7 days. She was declared legally insane during the time of the incident. If she does bypass this sentence she will be arrested." He walks off and gets into heirs car and speeds away.

"Josh!" I say, hugging him only to be rejected completely. I try to hug him again but instead he walks away. I follow him into the kitchen and stand behind him. He looks at me and storms upstairs. I follow behind him, he walks into his room and slams the door.

I feel tears building up in my eyes. Why isn't he talking to me? What's wrong with him. I sit on the outside of his door, my arms wrapped around my legs. Why?

"Josh why aren't you talking to me?" I yell. I get startled by the door opening. Josh is shirtless and in his boxers. He comes towards me and kisses me. Passionately like in a romance movie. He carries me into his room and I sit on his bed. He puts on a shirt.

"I look at you and all I see is the girl Debby could never be. The girl I loved in the first place but never told her. So she was abused. A girl nearly killed herself because I was scared to love her." He mumbles. I see a tear drop out of his eye.

I get up and hug him. He kisses me passionately again. We sit on his bed. I rest my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me. We both smile.

"If you hadn't done it, I would've."