How am i suppose to cope...

How..?

How can i cope.. how can i cope with life when everything around me is falling apart..
Im physically sick and dont know whats wrong.. ive lost the love of my life due to other people decisions and having no say. and no control I dont want to give up on life cause that wont solve anything im not looking for attention or support but these thoughts have never crossed my mind until now, how am i suppose to be strong when every time i try to be happy something always blows up in my face and pushes me back down i try to be positive and look up instead of down but when everything around you is pushing you that way its almost impossible
I feel every kind of pain thru out my body physical and mental..  i feel like theres no way out of this black hole i am in and theres not even a light at the end of the tunnel i can follow  the feeling of being back in elementary school or even high school always being the last pick in a game.. well this is the game called life, and the board game. The board game makes real  life seem way to easy to be true but this isnt no board game as many of us wish it was.. its the real deal.. but how can you move forward and continue to "play " when there is a road block everytime you try to move forward and makes me step 2 steps back everytime i take 1 step forward.