Phan Phluff

Proud of My Love For You

Colors. We've known them our whole lives, you and me. There are so many colors. Everyone sees colors differently and each color has a different meaning to everyone. Today, in honor of pride month, I wanted to talk about the colors that I see and what they mean to me.

RED- Red is the color of the flowers I got you when we went on our first date. I took you to a fancy restaurant that was really expensive because I wanted to show you what you meant to me. The food they gave us was far too small, and we ended up going for tacos afterwards. I felt awful, but you said you had an amazing night, so I was happy, too.

ORANGE- Orange is the color of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes you get at Starbucks when they're available. Every time we're out, you always would ask to get one. I'd always give in, of course, because who wouldn't give in to Phil Lester? I remember us every year when fall rolls around, we'd be cuddling on the couch, or walking through Hyde Park. One hand holding your Latte, the other holding my hand.

YELLOW- Yellow is the color of the Jake The Dog sweatshirt I gave you a few years back. You'd put that on when I was away and you were lonely, or when you weren't feeling well. You'd curl up into a fetus position in the sweater while I took care of you. When I was on vacation, I'd FaceTime you every night and you'd be wearing the bright yellow sweatshirt, a smile plastered on your soaked face, wet with tears rolling down your cheecks because you missed me.

GREEN- Green is the color of grass. I know it seems lame and simple, but we were on the grass when we shared our first kiss. We were lying on the grass, my head in your lap, your fingers in my hair. We were talking about anything and everything, when you asked if you could kiss me and my heart stopped. Yeah, I know, cliché, but it's true. 

BLUE-This one's easy. Blue is the color of your eyes. I can't even begin to tell you about how many times I've looked in your eyes and fell in love with you all over again. You have big, beautiful blue orbs that I get lost in every single day. That I have gotten lost in every single day. For the past 9 years. Crazy, isn't it?

PURPLE-  Purple is the color of that adorable shirt you always wear. You know, the one with the pink evil eyes and big smile? I remember all the times I called you a spoon or a dork when you wore that, even though you know how much I love you and your  quirkiness, whether it came to your clothes or your personality. Like how you pronounced the word "squishy" or when I woke up to find you in your Adventure Time pajamas and glasses watching anime in the morning.

There's one more color I want to tell you about, but I'd rather do it in person. I love you more than life itself, my little Philion.

-Dan xx

Phil looked up and met my eyes with his own tearful ones. I took a step towards my boyfriend and took both of his hands in my own and pressed a gentle but loving kiss to his lips before taking a small step backwards. I gave Phil a small smile as I reached into my back pocket before getting down onto one knee and looking up at Phil, who was now crying, his hand covering his mouth.

"My little lion," I started, "it's always been me and you, us, against the world. When we met for the first time back in 2009 I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love you more than I've ever loved anything, Phil Lester. I told you there was one more color I needed to talk to you about in person. That color, is silver." I paused for a moment to recollect myself, as I felt my eyes begin to water.

"Silver is the color of what's inside this box. It's the color of the item that you will hopefully wear around your left ring finger for the rest of your life. It's the color of the item that I hope will make you Philip Michael Howell-Lester. Phil, I love you so, so much and you're all I've ever wanted. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, Philip Michael Lester, will you marry me?" I asked, opening the small velvet box in my hand to reveal a silver ring. 

I watched as Phil fell to the floor on his knees, crying and nodding vigorously. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as tight as I could. When we finally pulled away, we looked at each other with puffy eyes and blurred vision. I grabbed his left hand and slid the silver ring onto his ring finger. He looked at the ring then back up at me, before tackling me in another hug and continuously whispering "I love you" in my ear. We pulled away from each other once more and smiled. I cupped his wet face in my hands, using my thumbs to wipe away the seemingly never-ending tears coming from his eyes. I pulled him in for yet another kiss, this one longer and full of nothing but pure love. I released my lips from his and rested our foreheads against each other.

"I love you so much, my little lion," I said as I rubbed the tip of my nose against his, causing him to giggle.

"I love you more, my bear," Phil replied, pecking my lips once more.

We stood up and made our way to our bedroom, where we held each other close all night and thought about the rest of our lives, which we would be spending together.