Ephemeral

A

I have always thought of myself as an observer, speaker, risk taker and much more characteristics. I try to put myself in other people's shoes but it doesn't always work. I judge people but then regret it instantly. I'm looking for something maybe someone to fill this void pointlessness i feel. In my own mind, and my mothers (lol like any other mother), I have such high potential that I'm not living up to. I'm waiting; I don't exactly know for what but I'm waiting. Maybe for the right opportunity, right time, right place, or maybe even the right person I'm just waiting. Every time I see a successful figure I just I envy them because I wanna dfbe them. I could be them; if I could just trust myself with this I will be them one day.

i like to watch films, documentaries, learn about different people and their culture . i am currently sitting on my bed watching youtube; to be exact Troye sivan's heaven. My mind always does this thing, it wonders around asking question that i might never get the answer to. and my mind drifted; i couldn't help but think how can people have so much hatred. like i dont understand it. we are always encouraged to be postive, to love those around, to help those who helped us. however people carry so much hatred for those around them that im surprised that such small figure could hold such energy in a big universe. how can they not look into the eyes of those infront of them and see anything other then a story, a chapter, a life, and a beating heart. how can they not close their eyes for a second and hear the thumping of their hearts, the quick light catch of their breath. everyday a person steps up - builds more walls, more boundaries and more hatred. even though their are negative people in this world that infuriate others there are people who believe in beauty, equality, and humanity.