I'm Okay

Untitled Part 1

I'm okay. I'm okay. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me. "Micheal ! Get down here boy!"

"Yes mama ?"

"Who said you can go play outside like the rest of them kids?"

"No one mama..."

Fifteen years later and the pain never gets easier to handle. No matter what she finds near her she always finds a way to hurt me with it.

"Maybe next time you'll know better ! You're not like them kids Michael ! You know that... You're different !"

I went upstairs with tears pouring down my face. I hated them kids. I envied the privileges they had. The next morning I went downstairs to have a little breakfast before I went to school. Ma was barely with me and I got no daddy, She would leave even before I would wake up. I was my own responsibility and yet she would only show up just to remind me of the true person I am.

I hated her with all my heart and there was nothing I could do about it other than to kill her... I'm not that crazy. Always took the same route to school you know by the cemetery passed that one crazy homeless guy that kept reminiscing his past. When I got to the school there they were, the kids that had gotten me in trouble. You think I wanted to play with them ? I'm not allowed to be outside because mama says I'm different. I was curious to know how it felt to be at the park once in my life. I sat down next to the tree and just stared at the kids play across from me. Watched the way they would hold hands twirl in a circle singing a song I've never heard before. Oh how I desired to just touch them just once... slowly.

"Micheal ? How are you doing ?" All of a sudden I stopped daydreaming as soon as I heard my name. I was shy and didn't know what to say to Mrs. Fern.

"Yeah I'm... I'm doing fine, Mrs... Mrs. Fern."

"Okay... now you take care of yourself Michael... have a good day."

I walked passed her without saying anything back. Walked into my class and I would always like to look out the window, but this time it was different. I couldn't stop thinking about the little girls.

*Thud, Thud, Thud,* as my fingers tapped on my desk. The bell rang and I grabbed my backpack and left as fast as I could. I was never the person to have friends or to even socialize. Either way mama didn't let me and I didn't have a problem with that. Let's just say I was always an outsider my whole life. I had myself and all I needed was myself. I was my own friend... my only friend.

I was making my way home and I came upon the same group of little girls.

"Ring around the rosie, Ring around the roses, ashes, ashes they all fall down !"

There was nothing holding me back now... I walked up to the first little girl, she turned, and then smiled at me.

" Do you want to play with us ? My name is Suzy what's yours ? "

"My name is Micheal nice to meet you Su...Suzy. " I was nervous and my adrenaline was going higher every second I stood next to her. The rest of the little girls had to go home because it was almost dinner time for them.

" Bye Suzy ! Bye Michael !"

Susy said " Bye !"

I turned to her as I played with my hands to calm my adrenaline.

" Hey Suzy... do you want to go play with toys at my house ?"

" Um, I think I should be getting home because my mommy will get mad if I don't come on time for dinner."

"I have barbie dolls and all the new toys Suzy.... Oh please join me." Just saying that made my body heat up and I felt like my inner monster was going to come out of me any moment.

" Alright, I'll go."

I grabbed her by the hand and my heart was just pumping like an explosive bomb about to go off in a matter of seconds. We arrived to my house and momma wasn't home which was offly strange because she usually gets home at about this time. I invited her in and I went into the kitchen to only find out that mama wasn't coming back until midnight tonight . My heart dropped and I put on the biggest smile while I looked at little Suzy from the distance.

" Michael where are all the toys I can play with ?"

" They're upstairs Su... Suzy."

I grabbed her hand and started walking towards the stairs. My adrenaline was higher than ever and my inner monster came out. I grabbed mama's scissors and plunged her right in her little neck with them ! Oh how it felt so good !

"I hate you ! You were never a good mama to me ! You stupid whore! You deserve to be stabbed over and over ! Die !"

Before I knew it... I snapped out of it. In my arms was little Suzy, bleeding... the glare from her eyes was gone.

*Screams*

" Micheal ! What did you do !"

" I thought it was you mama... I thought it was you."

The cops carried me out, but I didn't fight them off or anything I couldn't help but to smile... I couldn't stop. A few days past and the day finally came to discuss my case with the judge.

"Michael Baron, Please rise... You plungered six year old, Suzy Robinson with scissors 86 times which resulted in her death."

I couldn't help myself... I smiled.

" Yes, I... I did your honor."

"Michael Baron you are sentenced to life in prison with maximum security... guilty!"

There I left the room laughing about my actions and the joy I felt, more like the relief of taking out all of my hatred towards my mama. They had taken me into a room where they dressed me in white clothing and they strapped my arms down alongside my body. They then walked me into a white room where there I stood in the middle. " I'm okay. I'm okay. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me."