i hated myself. i hated myself so bad, that i wished cancer upon myself so i would have a reason to die and not go to hell because it wouldnt be suicide. i know thats f*cked up. i know it was a dire situatuon.
how bad could a life get to have that life get to the point of wanting to not be life anymore?
i understand that you dont understand because you have not felt the record stop.
i understand why you say i need help.
what i dont understand is how that came out of your mouth and then the second after 'kill yourself' came out that same mouth.
what i dont understand is how you could just walk away from me and just leave me there to panic or hurt. i dont understand.
but i do. you dont want to get involved.
you dont want the problem of having to look out for me because i know being my friend is hard thing to do.
i understand because loving me is the hardest thing to do.
because to love me is to love a broken record.
