"Wake up"! my mom said
Mommmm,I don't wanna goo
I don't care hun. Your going to school
Whatever! I said
I woke up and got ready I put on a pair of jeans. And a sweatshirt,and pulled my hair up in a bun.
I get my stuff. And walk to the bus stop,the bus is here now. Took long enough!
I walk on the bus and everyone just looks at me and some people whisper, I really just wanted to walk off,I can already tell this year is gonna be great!
We get to school and I walk inside and everyone starts laughing and saying look there's the new kid!! And to some people I said "shut the fuck up bitch" but you know.
Anyway I'm in history and the teacher called me up to the front of the classroom and said look at her hair would any of you do your hair like this. Every one just laughed. I know fucked up right!!
So it's the end of the day finally. Shit it felt like I was in each class for like a fucking year. God damn
So I get on the bus and nobody says anything. I go home a cry. I drive to a place where nobody ever really goes,but me. The woods, also my thinking place. Weird but I feel happy there.
Lately I've been feeling depressed and not myself. It's like I just wanted to run away. I had no fucking friends and I was just alone. But the only thing I really liked to do was vlog. I just felt myself and like I wasn't faking my happiness.
So I'm on the way home from my thinking spot. And I start crying. I run upstairs and then,my mom says "what's wrong!!" And I just don't answer. I'm crying so hard I can't breath. My mom walks in my room and said Helena what's wrong sweetie. I say "mom I can't go to school,I just can't" she says Helena we're not doing this again. This is when I loose my shit and say...
MOM I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA END UP KILLING MY FUCKING SELF I NEED TO MOVE AWAY AND DO ONLINE SCHOOLS!!
She says HELENA NICOLE!!
DONT YELL LIKE THAT!! EVER
mom,I really can't do this. please,please,please let me move away and do online schools. please mom. I can't do this
Helena I love you-
mom if you loved me you would let me leave...
What
ever Helena help me pack
I get up and give my mom a huge hug. And say thank you soooo much I love you mom!!
"I love you to baby". She says. You guys start packing everything. When I say everything I mean EVERY.DAMN.THING. so today is the day my mom calls the school and lets them know that I'm moving.
We booked the flight and I've already started online school.
Today is the dayyyy!! I said to my mom
She says I know crying.
I laugh and say mom I'll FaceTime you every night I promise
She laughs and says you better..
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