The Funeral Started at Noon.

The most precious things we love the most tend to be the most fragile.

June 6th,

A never ending abyss of darkness is what awaits me. I know this. It's not something that's easy to accept, but my sins make it easier. It wasn't hard to detect on where I was headed after my coffin had been buried. My sins couldn't be atoned for, they were unspeakable crimes of hate.

I hated myself. And every action I have ever made. I wasn't fit for the job I was given. I did terrible. I am terrible. Not even she could forgive me. I still cannot forgive myself. I hope he has though. But he saw what I didn't. He tried to stop it and failed. I wish for another chance, but I know I would make the same mistake twice. I wouldn't be able to see her pain and hurt. I was blind, and now that I can see, I wish I never saw.. I split my family. I broke it. I was the one thing who brought upon our downfall.

I just want to know that she is okay, that's she happy. That they both are, but I'm so scared to go and see them. I don't want to relive my mistake, but I miss them so. I miss their presence, their smiles, their laughs and giggles. I miss them and the joy they brought me. I needed them back. I wanted to beg for forgiveness, but I wouldn't ever get that chance and I prayed that their love would always surround me. I wanted to sob in their arms and tell them my apologies. To tell them that I'm sorry that I failed them both. That I was a sin in myself, nothing but a pile of weeping madness. I've grown so lonely and cold without them.

Catrina Makye.

I couldn't speak, the words were caught in my throat as it had closed over long ago. I couldn't move, my muscles froze and became stiff as if I hadn't walked in ages. My lungs burned and my chest ached with each heave of breath I pulled. I felt so dizzy and discombobulated. My world spun, and the sky shifted from above.

Thinking was always a burden to me, I found most of my problems came from too much ruckus within the mind, what I hadn't realized was a quiet mind was far worse and more vile. I had missed my loud and diligent mind, I wanted it back but I missed my chance and now I can't change it. I can't change the choice I made so long ago.

Silence.

There wasn't a single sound that travelled into my vicinity. No cacophony came to my hearing range, maybe it had and I didn't hear it but I didn't care about it though. I, myself was focused on many other things than my own depression. What other things I had to focus on? I didn't know. It was almost twelve, and the rain was was coming soon. The thunder clouds, were ruining the sun's warmth but I was always chilled to the bone. Always cold. Cold hearted, cold minded, cold souled. Most said I didn't have one for what I did to him.

"You were the only thing I truly loved and I'm sorry."

My lips quivered at the whisper that left my lips. I hoped he could hear me, but I knew he wouldn't be listening. He wouldn't have been able to forgive me, hell I haven't either. I knew he was up in the heavens, cherishing what little life he had. "I know you don't forgive me, and I know you've moved on. Others say you haven't even had a glimpse of the angels in the sky, but I. I know otherwise, you were too innocent for this world, too pure." The words weren't mine, they were hers, she would have wanted me to say them. She was doubtful of others, but she had hoped he moved on. "I miss you, it's so lonely here without my dragon. I'm so cold, and you're not here to keep me warm but I'm afraid." My voice cracked but I kept strong, he would have wanted me to.

"I'm afraid I won't ever become warm again, that I'll never see my precious dragon again. I'm afraid that our princess will be lost, that we will never find her again, or maybe she'll never want to find me. I'm afraid-I'm afraid to be forgiven."