Scroll down below and play the song while you read this.
I sat on his bed, staring at the blank piece of paper. My hands were beginning to shake, making it harder for me to write. This was my sixth copy. Halfway through writing, my nerves would get worse, causing me to crumple up the letter and toss it aside. Tears welled up in my eyes and it felt like my heart had dropped down into my stomach. There was so much flowing through my mind, it made it difficult to think straight. I couldn't get the words written on the paper properly, they would come out jumbled and in a big mess.
On the bedside table sat two picture frames. The one on the left was beginning to crack in the middle. It was old, and very special. Six years ago it had been taken. The photo had captured a special memory. It was a picture of Louis and I sitting together on the couch in our very own flat. We had just moved in together only hours before. I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks as the memories flooded back into mind. I closed my eyes, imagining the moment One Direction was formed. It almost felt like it was yesterday when it happened. If I had one wish, it would be to go back in time when Louis ran into my arms, and I scooped him up into a big hug. If I could re-live any moment of Louis and I together, I would. To feel his touch, his warmth, and his presence again, one last time. To see his perfect smile, and hear him laugh is the only thing I've wanted for the past four years.
I reached out and held the bottle of pills in my hand. Slowly I clicked the lid open and poured one pill into my hand.
If only I could have been the one sitting in the passenger side when that car slammed into us.
Why did it have to be Louis?
Why did he have to leave this Earth before I told him how I really felt?
My eyes traced over each line of the pill. I placed it in my mouth, tilted my head back and took a drink of water.
One for all the times he's brightened my darkest days.
I quickly grabbed my pen and paper and wrote down the first thing that came to my mind. 'It's been way too long without Louis. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stay here longer. I hope you understand.' My vision became blurred as the tears streamed down my face, landing on the paper. I folded it and slid it under the pillow.
I picked up the picture of Louis and I and hugged it tightly to my chest, while holding onto the pills in the other hand.
Two for all the secrets we've shared together.
My body was shaking, and I was starting to get scared.
Three for all the laughs we've had.
I started to feel light headed. The end was coming near. Soon I would be reunited with Louis like old times.
Four for the songs we sang together.
Ten pills were already gone. As the minutes passed they started to kick in.
Five for the memories that'll live on forever.
"I hope you'll be waiting for me when I come to Heaven Lou." I whispered to myself.
Six for the times that we spent together.
My eyelids began to feel heavier by the second. I wiped my eyes hugged the picture even harder.
I closed my eyes, "This is it boo bear. My last moments on earth, and I'm still thinking of you. I'm so scared right now, but I know you'll be there waiting for me. We'll finally be back together like old times. "
I laid down, hugging the picture and his pillow tightly and drifted into a painless eternal sleep.
