Once we were in the classroom, we pretty much got to do almost anything wanted. That almost anything included about everything except for running around in the classroom and leaving early... and murder, or seriously injuring one another...
A lot of people had taken their phones, becuase it was the last day and they didnt care if they got caught because really the teacher couldnt do much about it. Most of those with their phones or ipods took pictures to remember the last day of their sixth grade year. I didnt think about taking my Dsi and I didnt have an iPod at the time. Even if I did take my Dsi, I wouldve just been a laughing stock and I really didnt the last day of sixth grade to be one of my worst.
We played cards, took pictures, or just talked and it felt good. I avoided the girls that might insult me and just hung out with the ones that I knew I could without being judged. I would talk to Jacob or Zack until Caroline, Ella, or Jessica, Taylor, or Shantal had started talking to them. If they wanted to talk to the boys let them, I dont want to start shit on the last day, it wasnt worth it.
Finally when it was time to go, we all said our goodbyes, knowing that we wouldnt see each other until next year. By the time I was in the car I was in tears. My second year of crying on the last day of school. I did in fifth grade because I had grown so close to James and I really didnt want to grow apart over the three months in Summer, but this time was different. This time I had grown with them all. All of my classmates had something to do with who I will be. the past four years no where near all of my classmates had an effect on my personality. This year, it felt as though that was everything I was made up of, just pierces of everyone else all thrown together to make me. It felt good, but also had its downsides. I saw what worked for some people and what I liked in them and just made that my own, picking at the trait until it felt right to me. The downside was that I was never truly original. I only messed with the traits that I took from others and played around with it until it fit the rest of what I chose. Because of that, I wasnt sure who I was. The only thing that I could say I knew about myself was what I was a fan of.
My favorite shows, bands, hobbies, and other small things were what made the real me. I was a fan of Pretty Little Liars which brought out me not trusting people with as much as Id like(the Lilly thing also had an effect on me somewhat like that). One Direction helped me to be happy with myself, even if I felt as though I didnt deserve it, it still didnt make me happy all of the time but no one's happy all of the time. I sang, which helped me relax. I had to actually listen to the lyrics and that told me which songs help my mood and which songs I shouldnt really listen to. I crotched, which calmed me down, it gave me something to do. All of this adds up to me. This is the stuff I shouldve embraced, what I like, who I am.
(A/N:
hey guys! Im in the middle of reading the Divergent series(which I believe I told you about last chapter) and so if I dont update as often as I have started, it's probably because Im in my room being a book worm.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I wrote half of it last time I updated and that's why it took a random turn.
I love you guyssss! Bai Xx. ~Tara)
