published spoken word

I tried.

I tried to love you.

I tried to take you by the oddly angled curves of your waist and bring you in closer to the the affections i provided.

I tried to love you.

But now i am stuck on the fact that when i did love you, it was ditched in an alley like the virginity of a small insecure soul.

I wanted to love you.

Because i knew that you had never felt a love like mine. That you had never been held while you cried, and carried once you fell. That now the tears escaping from your shut tight lids are being cleaned by the tips of my index.

I can't help but to love you.

Even when your hands are tugging and ripping apart that beating object hidden deep within my chest. I keep giving it to you.

Here.

This belongs to you and only you. Do what you want with it. Though all you've been showing me is to never trust you with it, i just can't fucking help it.

Literally giving you all that i could.

A heart was just too symbolic for you. You needed something physical. Something you could feel yourself controlling and manipulating.

So i gave you, me

I gave you my fragile arms, weak legs, caved stomach, and my now lost and broken cherry.

I gave that to you.

Deciding to let you pull out your plastic phallus to insert deep into my insecurities and then pulling it back out along with all of my innocents.

So now once again, your love has caused blood shed.

But now it is no longer from the hole in my chest, but from the hole between my legs. And it shows...all over the sheets.

Thank you for allowing me to love you. Because all i ever wanted was to love you. Though i never received this love in return. I still thank you. You were the damaged soul that i lost myself in trying to fix.

The journey to get to the other side of your dark tunnel was worth the troubles

I tried to love you.

But the universe had other plans for us. So i guess this is where we part. Back to being our lost and lonely selves.