Love, I'm Done (ON HOLD)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

'Ember I want to tell you something...' Jace says honestly.

I turn to face him and look into his eyes. They are desperate for me to listen to him. I've never seen him this sincere.

'Okaay? Talk Jacey,' I say.

'Do you know how, in middle school Chad and Nicole dated for, like, a few months?'

I nod, wondering why he is bringing up both of our last ex's.

'Well,' he continues, 'this really isn't my place to tell you, and I would have told you as soon as I found out.. I feel horrible that I'm telling you now and not when I found out. Nicole cheated on me.'

I look at him, confused and sad for him.

'What does this have to do with Chad?' I ask, my voice quivering, knowing what he was about to say.

'She told me she just kissed someone else, I let it go. I figured ya know it was just a kiss and she promised not to ever again. I believed her. I trusted her. Then, when we started to get more rocky, she told me that she had had sex with someone else. That she lied before and didn't just kiss someone. She fucking fucked some dude. I didn't want to know who, but I needed to. She told me it was Chad, that it was your Chad.'

I turn away from him and try to hide my tears that are falling down.

'You remember that day Chad had a huge black eye and he said him and one of his buddies were just messing around?'

I just nod.

'That wasn't a buddy. That was me. I punched the absolute shit out of him and told him that he had best tell you what he had done. I told him he could ruin one person but not two, especially when the second person is you, the most important girl in my life. He said he would, he swore he fucking would tell you! I stupidly believed him too. You had cut about two days after that, so I figured he told you. I thought you'd come confide in me, tell me about him cheating on you, but you never did. I thought it was because you didn't want to tell me about Nicole or something. I thought you'd finally tell me you dumped his ass, but you looked even more happier with him that you ever seemed before. I was confused. It turned out he never told you. ' Jace says, his voice quivering towards the end.

I turn to face him again. I know my cheeks are red and my eyes won't stop letting the tears fall. He has tears threatening his eyes as well. He is trying so hard to keep himself calm and put together.

'I told him he couldn't do this to you. I told him to grow up, Ember. I didn't want you to get hurt. I can't stand to see you hurt like this, because of him and Nicole. I felt as if it was my fault, it is my fault. It's my fault he dumped you, he didn't deserve to play you like that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, or help you. I'm a failure as a best friend. I failed you. Please, can you forgive me? I needed to let you know, because I want us to be completely honest with each other. You have a right to be angry, even pissed at me, but please. I was trying to keep you as safe as I could.' Jace takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes, looking as though he is completely vulnerable and begging me to understand.

'Please Ember. I've been in love with you since the day I told you that we'd get through this hell together. Do you remember that day, I do. It was 4 days after your 12th birthday, it was raining, absolutely pouring rain and I dragged you outside and told you the rain understood. You laughed through your tears, but you danced with me. I held you close and I could feel your heart. I have been, ever since that moment, in love with you. I figured it would be best if I didn't tell you what I felt at the time. I mean we were 12, what did I know that you were what I would want for the next 4, almost 5 years of my life. I didn't know that, maybe, I'd want you to be only mine for the rest of my life. I figured it was the guy in me, and I didn't think you'd ever consider me attractive in anyway what so ever, but now, now I need to tell you. I need you to know how I feel about you, and how, oh so badly, I want you to be mine.'

The tears are streaming down my face. Jace, my best friend Jace, just poured out his entire soul to me. How could I not see this before that he loved me, more than any other guy ever has or would.

It hurts that he didn't tell me right as soon as he found out about Nicole and Chad. I know he must have been hurt himself, but how could he not tell me. That is an important secret that really shouldn't be a secret. I'm so stupid that I didn't see that Chad still loved Nicole. It's so obvious now..

I get up and walk to the bathroom, Jace is right on my heels.

'Babe, are you okay?' He asks me.

I go to shut the door but Jace doesn't allow me to.

'I know what your gonna do Ember. If you're really gonna cut, you're doing it in front of me. I am not leaving you alone.'

Jace shuts the door behind him and sits on the closed toilet lid.