Everything i want him to know but will never tell him.
I don't really know why I expected the glow of my phone to reflect your name. I guess I was just used to it. I was used to seeing that spark in your eyes every time you looked at me. I was used to being part of your life. I was used to having something with you. I don't know how to not look for you in a crowd. I don't know how to not think of you every second of every day. I don't know how to be a stranger. I don't know how to not be important to you. I don't know how to accept that when you look at me you don't feel anything when just one month ago your gaze engulfed my entire being.
I can't stand the thought that another girl is making you smile, that another girl is the reason for your happiness. It makes me sick to think of you talking to her the way you used to talk to me and it kills me to imagine you holding another girl the way you once held me.
I remember how happy I was and now I look at how different things are and I wish with every fiber of my being that I could go back to those times and do it all over again. Do it right. I guess what I really want to say is that I miss you. I miss you so much.
