A Little Bit of Hell and Heaven

Part 1

The surface of the lake is perfectly still and glassy. It is a bright bluish green that glows as if from an internal source, lighting the rest of the cavern with a soft, ethereal light. The walls glitter like stars from the glow of the lake reflecting off of gems and metals encapsulated in the stone of the walls. There is a large stalactite in the cavern, hanging over the center of the lake. A drop of water falls from its tip and lands in the pool below, creating gentle ripples that lap on the edge of the shore and make the light waver. Simon lets out a low whistle that quietly echoes around the large space.

"You sure about this, Steven?" he queries. "I've heard from... others... that it's painful. Like taking a bath in boiling battery acid."

"Thank you, Simon, for that wonderful image," Steven huffs, running both hands through his soft, brownish-blond hair. "Of course I'm sure. No matter how bad it hurts, it can't hurt as bad as Maya telling me she hates me."

Simon shrugs. He's still staring at Steven. He loves everything about Steven: the way his eyes become a bright blue when he's bursting with energy, how he bites his soft, pink lips when he gets nervous, how he runs his gentle hands through his silky hair when he's anxious, and how he fusses with his gold ring when he gets confused or unsure. Steven takes a deep breath, startling Simon out of his reverie. Shaking out his hands and blinking as though he just woke up, Steven turns toward Simon.

"We should get this over with... Right?" Steven asks, more to himself than to Simon. Simon makes a sort of noncommittal noise. Steven fidgets nervously for a moment before perking up, his eyes bright, as though he just remembered something very exciting and important. "Hang on a second." He turns his head up to a dark corner of the cavern.

"What? Why?" stammers Simon, gazing curiously at Steven.

"Now, you're probably wondering how I ended up here," begins Steven, speaking as though to some unseen being in the corner. Simon, still peering at Steven, cocks his head and raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not," scoffs Simon. "I've been with you the whole time. I know exactly what happened and how we got here."

"Simon, Simon, Simon," Steven chuckles, turning to face his friend. "You should know by now, I'm not talking to you; I'm talking to our audience, the readers!" Steven smiles winningly at Simon. Simon throws his hands up in feigned exasperation.

"Of course you are!" he exclaims. "How many times have I told you NOT to break the fourth wall? Half the neighborhood already thinks you're crazy."

"Shh, SHH," Steven hisses, waving a hand dismissively at Simon. "It's flashback time."

"Seriously?" Simon groans. "But you were just about to accomplish the thing that we came here to do in the first place!" Simon acts upset, but really he is relieved to delay this ordeal a bit longer. Steven ignores Simon.

"It all started about three years ago..." Steven begins. "I was taking a walk around 10:30 at night, just meandering down the road, through the neighborhood. I decided to head back home when I stumbled upon Simon (I didn't know him yet, though), who was passed out on the sidewalk. I picked him up so I could take him to the hospital or something and make sure he was ok. Right then, his eyes snapped open and he sunk his fangs into my neck, and---"

"Ok, what?" Simon interrupts. "That's not how it happened at all. If you're going to insist on doing a whole flashback backstory thing, at least you could tell it correctly." Simon turns to the same corner that Steven had been talking to. "Here's how it actually happened. I was leaning against a building at the corner of an alleyway, epitomizing the idea of sexy, angsty teen vampires." Steven chokes on his laughter and Simon shoots him a quick glare.

"I'm sorry 'sexy, angsty, teen vampire'?" Steven guffaws. "First of all, you don't even know what angst is or how to 'epitomize' it. Second of all, you are, like, 300 years old. Not a teen."

"Well, I look like a teen. And, if you're allowed to completely make up the story of how we met, I'm allowed to embezzle the truth a little."

"Ok, ok. Back to the story."

"Ok, so I was in this alley, just minding my own business, when Steven, completely wasted, sprinted straight into the corner of the brick building. He, of course, fell over, with a giant gash in his forehead. Right then I realized how hungry I was. Now, in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have drank his blood, considering how extremely inebriated he was, but that's exactly what I did.

"Well, after I drank his blood, I was the drunk one and he was sober. Mostly. And that's when I passed out on the sidewalk."

"It was so hilarious!" Steven interjects loudly. "It was like he'd never been drunk before! He was drooling and muttering to himself about---"

"Aaand that's enough of that story," stammers Simon hastily, throwing himself on Steven's back to shut him up. "Let's fast forward two years to when you met Maya." Steven straightens up suddenly, throwing Simon to the ground.

"Maya! The sunshine of my life!" Steven exclaims. "See, she's my sunshine because I love her, but she also hates me and her hate burns me." Simon smacks his palm to his forehead.

"Honestly, Steven, you're the reason the phrase 'stupid in love' was invented." Simon mutters. "Steven met Maya at a friend's party. Pretty much everyone knew that Steven was a vampire. And, apparently, Maya is afraid of being attacked by vampires because she witnessed a brutal murder caused by a vampire, or something. Anyway, Maya also knew that Steven was a vampire, but she hadn't met him yet and she didn't want to. So, of course this idiot," Simon jerks his thumb toward Steven "fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her. Well, when he introduced himself to her, she... freaked out a little..."

"A little?!?" Steven yelps. "She punched me in the face, kicked me in the stomach, and then pushed me to the ground on her way out the door, screaming 'I hate you! Get away from me, you monster!' the whole way out."

"I was trying to save some shred of your dignity..." Simon mumbles, his face in his hands once again.

"I have no dignity," Steven proclaims with unusual pride.

"I've noticed." Simon plops to the ground, slumping against a large rock.

"Ok, well, whatever. So that's the whole reason we're here," Steven returns to speaking to the readers. "We're on a quest to find this enchanted lake that will make me not a vampire if I completely submerge myself in the water. Ta-da! Then I can go back to Maya and she'll love me because I won't be a vampire."

"Unfortunately," Simon mutters under his breath, softly so that Steven can't hear him. 

"What? Did you say something?"

"I just - uh - nothing."

"Ok, whatever," Steven says, looking skeptically at Simon. "Well, I think it's the narrator's turn to do a flashback because I, for one, am tired of talking."

"You? Tired of talking? Who are you and what have you done with Steven?" Simon exclaims. Steven tries to glare at him, but rather ends up screwing up his face in a way that makes them both spasm with laughter. Steven sits down next to Simon, his long legs buckling awkwardly, bringing him to a seated position that looks like it could not possibly be comfortable.

"Ready, Simon?" Steven's voice is bursting with excitement; his eyes are gleaming bright blue. "It's storytime!"