🔪 Cuteness within the crime 🔪

🔪 Chapter 1 (Self Loathing) 🗡

I slammed my books down on the ground. Then, grabbed my hair and ripped some of it out. Too angry to feel the pain, as I had already felt to much. Walking to the mirror, my face was bright red, with tears slowly dripping down.

"THAT IDIOT!" I screamed. Jumping on my bed furiously, something caught my eye.

A black heart necklace. A black heart necklace, a locket. It was spread out on my bed. This thing gave back some bad memories. This time my tears began pooling out at a rapid pace. It was like my eyes were a sprinkler system, I was gushing out salty tears fast. A shiver ran down my spine, I couldn't handle any of this! I threw it down. The locket gave a large bang as it hit the black, pale, cold carpet. I watched as the locket slipped open, one heart cracked. It was mine. A handsome man with black, short, spiky hair and a jet black hoodie, was on one side of the locket. Then a pretty girl with light brown hair and a blood red coat, was on the other.

You could guess who that girl was.

Me.

For a split second, i felt like I wanted to kill someone... again.

'No... NO!, i can't do that again, who knows what bloody thing would happen if someone knew.' I thought holding my head like it was some kind of ball, ready to throw into the trash.

I got up and walked to my desk drawer. I opened it. Inside, was a small, sharp, pocket knife. It felt like I couldn't control my own body. Well it didn't feel like it, it was actually happening.

My other hand grabbed the knife, and without thinking, I let go and the knife flew into the air. I screamed as the knife landed in my foot. Blood was everywhere, there was now a knife on the floor, and I was feeling the most painful feeling-- like someone had literally put salt on a wound. But much more than that. It hurt, bad.

Blood was gushing out of my foot. I felt weak, dizzy; and I needed help. Fast.

"STUPID, STUPID!!" I tried to scream, but I couldn't. I was too weak to even speak. I didn't know what to do, I thought of my mom, she wasn't home. She was never home.

So i just layed in bed.

Crying in pain,

to sleep...

(~ *The next day* ~)

I dragged myself out of bed, with a wrecked teddy bear that had half a foot, and one eye missing. It wasn't like the locket, it gave me good memories, of my dad. A tear ran down my cheek as i thought about him. What happened if he would see me now? I shuddered at the thought. I don't want to know...

Breaking away from that terrible thought I looked at my calendar. Thursday. 'Thursday meaning... school' I sighed. 'Forget it, I'm not going, to much has happened... too much I had to hide.'

-⁕ ✡ ⁕-

(~ *Later, after school* ~)

My watch lay on the couch, it was like looking at me, begging for me to check it. So I did. I let out a huge "UGHHHHHH" as I saw that school was over. Before, I promised myself I would see my best friend (and only friend), Ayla. I kept thinking, what if she finds out? But, she wouldn't mind, would she?

Whatever!

Better head down there then!

(*Later at Ayla's house!!*)

I banged my fist on the door of Ayla's home. Wow, was she lucky.

She had a nice family, nice house, 5 dogs, each one cared for her, unlike mine.

Breaking my thoughts Ayla opened the door.

"COME IN BESTIEEEEEE!!!! I made us cookies!" She screamed as she hugged me. I put my hands around her, nice to feel loved by someone—hopefully I still will have her after she knows the truth...

"Okay!" I put on a fake smile, hoping she wouldn't see.

But OF COURSE... she did!

"Are you okay?" she asked as we walked up to her room. "You seem sad!" She turned my head to look at hers. She looked in my eyes, studying to see if I had a tear in my eye.

"Ummm.. yeah... I'm totally fine!!" I said leaning on the wall, trying to look funny, so she would believe me.

"AYE! Don't lie to me!!! I can tell! Shit has happened, hasn't it?" She stared into my eyes, with a blank face. I knew what she was thinking.

Should I tell her?

Thoughts ran through my mind, I began to feel stressed. I stood there for a while, ignoring what Ayla was saying. I made my decision, I will tell her.

"Fine, I'll tell you!" I gave in.

We were in her room now. She patted the bed, showing me that I could sit there. I sat.

"Spill the beans bitch!!" She waited impatiently.

"HEY! I ain't no bitch... anyways, basically, my boyfriend got mad at me, um... and he um... started... um abusing me..." I felt a tear run down my face.

"THAT ASSHOLE!" She began grabbing a pillow then began stabbing a knife through it. Where did that come from? "Is that all?" She then said after a while, playing with the fluff from the pillow.

"No..." I thought about it again for a while. I should tell her... she is my BEST friend... yet, it is big info... and I do need to get it off my chest... fine, if I lose her as a friend, I blame my stupid mind.

"I... um, when he abused me, I got really mad... and I...killed him" I felt my body tensed up.

My friend just stared at me for a while. She went from being a happy girl, to a angry one, then to a scared one.

Then she got up, and backed away.

"I... I.... GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU MURDER!"

Well... so much Ayla being my only friend, now I am forever alone. What is wrong with me?

And with that I walked out of her house, tears running down my cheeks. I felt my face turning red, hot, ANGER. I felt a murderous grin run over my face. Why was this happening to me?

I thought and thought, while walking home, tears stopped and it came to me;

I wasn't sad.

I was happy.

One less friend.

One more person to murder...

A/N~

Sup doges! So yup, my first book on Wattpad! AND OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY, am I happy I actually could be bothered to finish this! XD! Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed, next chapter will be here soon! :D 

Btw imma dedicate this chapter to my IRL BFF... CelesteCarlie!! She has helped me so much!! YASS GURL!!! Anyways, luv y'all, cya next time!! :P