Secret Love

Chapter One

 -Emily's POV-

I wake up to the alarm clock saying it's six. I get out of bed to see how I look before making my way downstairs. I look in the mirror and see the usual puffy eyes and several new cuts. I look at my phone and see few new text messages, one from a new number which I'm surprised about. Most of the time, it’s not new numbers. I don't understand why the usually people text me the same thing over and over again. They do know it's breaking me down. I want to be happy for one day. I can't ever go one day without being upset. I want a friend who willing to talk to me every single day to make sure I am okay. I need that friend fast but I guess I will wait for that friend.  I decide to open the one with the unknown number first, to see if I can figure out who it might be. I hope it’s not someone who has texted me before, and just wants to see how far I will go. I don’t usually open up to people; I have only ever opened up to one person. That didn’t end well at all.

Unknown: Hello

Me: Hi?

Unknown: This is Emily Richards correct?

Me: Yes, this is her. Why do you need me? I am usually unimportant to most people. I wouldn’t be shocked if I am unimportant to everyone.

Unknown:  I am just making sure I got the name correct. I don't think you’re unimportant to me. I think you could actually be important to me once, we get to know about each other better.  I would hope we can get to know each other better, I hope you’ll give me a chance but if not I understand. When you think about cutting stay strong for me, I will always be here for you on any cost.

Me: I don't believe I am ever going to be important to anyone. I really think I get close to people, I open up to them and then they use it against me. I have only ever opened up to one person, and the next time I do I want to make sure I really believe it's for the right reasons. I will give you a chance, to get to know me. I won’t open up right away but I might one day actually open up. How did you know about me cutting? I really hide my scars well. I always wear jackets, never took them off in public once. 

Unknown: I can say you are not as unwanted or unimportant to me. You will never be. I know the signs of cutting, I have my sources. I won't tell you who I am just yet because I want to get to know you better without knowing my name. 

Me: I do cut for reasons. I always have reasons for my actions. I don't do it for attention. I always try to stay out of attention when I am in class. I don't like to be called on in class. I hate school. I feel like it's just another place to get bullied. 

Knock Knock Knock Before, I have a chance to read the other messages someone knocks at my door.

"Hello?" I said to the person. My phone vibrates, I try to hide it. I don't want to get seen with my phone. Usually if someone is at my door early like this they don't want to see me on my phone. When I should be paying attention to what they want, not on my phone doing stuff I shouldn’t. I guess I should stop thinking now, because the guy has entered my room. 

"You should know who I am by now. You shouldn't have any question in your voice. I can tell when there's question in anyone voice especially yours." My father said. I can tell he's drunk because he's acting like it and he smells like he just walked out of the bar. People might wonder how I know, I just know.

"Sorry father." I said while twirling my blond hair.

"Get the crap out of bed or I will pull you out." My father said. He's yelling now. I know for a fact my mother and brother know what is happening. I always tell them its okay. I would rather go through this than anyone else. I hate to see others in pain, so I go through this pain instead of them. I am a weak when someone is in pain. I see someone in pain, I find out who the people that caused the pain is and I talk to them, I don’t usually want something back for doing this for them. One day, I'll stick up to him. One day, he won't be allowed near me. One day that's taking forever to come.

"Okay." I said while getting out of bed. I already know what he's going to do to me. I prepare myself, like any other day. This happens almost every morning.  Most of the time when I'm downstairs, I'm surprised it happened in my room. I am thinking he’s really angry so I won’t push his buttons because I don’t want to be in anymore pain then I will be.

"Was that so hard?" My father said while he begins hitting me. He grabs my hair, he knows I hate when someone touches my hair. I've learned if I show pain, he keeps going. I did that accidentally once; it wasn't a pretty sight to see. After a couple minutes, his drinking self leaves my room which I'm pretty happy about. I hope he leaves and never comes back, I can always hope. I will always hope. Hope is the last thing I have sometimes. I look at what he's done this time. I decide to braid my hair that should cover my upper back. I see my nails are cracking; I rush to find pink nail polish. 

"Mom, can you have my breakfast done in 3 minutes?" I yell down to my mom. I have to finish my nails quickly. I look good for once in my life. I grab my phone, boots, and my purse while making the walk downstairs.

"Sorry about not warning you. I thought he was going to bars by then again he could have always home somewhere else. I will tell you next time I think he will be going to bars." My mother said. She has a worried look now.

"Mom, it's alright. I've said this a million times. I would rather go through this then you or my brother. I can't bare to see people I love in pain. You don’t need to tell me next time I am prepared, I have gone through this enough times to know how it feels and what will happen when. “I said to my mom trying to tell her its okay.

"What would you like for lunch? At school of course." My mom asks and I understand that she wants to change the subject.

"I'll take what you already have ready. I don't want you doing any more work than you have to. I wouldn’t make you do anymore work then you need to, if there’s work to do I would do it before I let you do it for me." I said to my mom.

"Here Please try to have a good day." My mom said in a kind tone. She's probably trying to make up for this morning. 

"I'll try no promises." I said while making my way to the front of the house. Before, I make it to my car I end up bumping into someone. I don't have time to talk so I keep walking. I see that he's following me. I pull over.

"Hi! I see you following me. What can I help you with? What do you want? Don't say you don't want something if I know you do." I said to the guy.

"Wow, you ask a few questions from the start. First off I'm Nick. I just moved in town. I was here a few years back, but then I moved away. I thought you looked like you can be going to Blue Stone High School. I am starting there today and I want to make sure I get there on time. Do you go to that school?" Nick asks me.

"Yes, I do. You can follow me. Next time, please ask before you follow me. I thought you were a creep for a minute. I wouldn’t want creeps following me. You look my age so I would actually show you where to go, if you looked to old I would just make you drive off in a cliff or something. Just follow me. We should arrive there in like 10 minutes." I said back to Nick

"Yeah, I am total creep. I like how you would think I’m a creep before even seeing me. But anyways, thanks for letting me follow you and not driving me off a cliff that would have been very rude to do to me.” Nick asks me. Before he gets an answer I walk into my car. He'll find out my name later today. I start to think about Nick. I love his eyes. He smiles all the time. He smiles like an idiot and that always makes me feel good when someone smiles. Emily, you need to stop thinking about Nick. You like Jake. You've liked Jake for several years, you can't give up now. 

Keep going? Or not. Yes this chapter is an ehh chapter; I can promise they will get better. I am trying to get this story better. If you have any suggestions you can comment them. You can be as nice or harsh as you need to. 5+ comments for next update.