life does not live without loss, ironically.

I don't know where these feelings come from but, I remember that it hurt. watching, hurt.

Looking at the people I love most in the world, going by their daily lives,going through so much, seeing through the windows of their soals at the pain there.

All I could see around me was worry and sadness, anger and loss, and just so much pain.

A spark lit up inside me, quickly growing into a terrible storm of flames. My insides were on fire. I couldnt breath. I stop and listen, silence.

And then, all at once, the melodic beat of their hearts beating.

I could hear their hearts beating, I could hear everyone's heart beating.

When happiness does come through the battle it has with pain and sadness, it comes with cutsand bruises, never leaving completely,only fading a little, always waiting for the smallest crack in the wall to start the fight again.

I see that everyone has different ways to express pain, some hide it, some cant because no matter how much they try to forget, they cant. others show pain imeadiatly, because their very fagile or they've been hurt too badly.

I'm one of those people who no matter how much I try to tell myself nothing is wrong I still can't hide it sometimes.

sometimes, I can't store it all at the back of my mind and try to forget, it's always there no matter how hard I try to get rid of it.

most of the time, people need your help, but they're just too afraid to ask for it.

They worry what you'll think of them, if you'll tell anyone... the list of worries goes on forever.

Sometimes its too much for them to handle on their own, all you need to do is be there and listen, you'd be surprised how much it helps to get something off your chest.

My eyes start to sting as they fill with the tears of sadness that seem both unstoppable and never finishing. the memories of the past play in slowmotion, like an old home video. It's almost unbearable.

I lay here, watching mistake after mistake, sadness and loss, with little bits of sunshine poking through the gaps through the leaves on the tree thats my life.

whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but you still do it, because no one else will.

I've learnt that the more you care, the more you have to loose, and therefore, the more your bound to get hurt. If you don't care, then there's less you have to loose,

but inexplicably, we cant help but care, "thats what makes us human," they say.

well if thats the case, then I really don't want to be human.

If it means waking up every morning worring already about what the day will hold in its grasp, waiting, impatiently, for the day to end, going to bed and trying to get to sleep, but the only way you ever will get to sleep is by tearing it all out of yourself, crying yourself to sleep.

...then, finally, there is peace. a dreamworld, full of imagined places and people that you only wished were reality.

some words can never describe the pain sometimes felt in the depths on ones soul. its inexplicable, how one feels pain, sometimes not even physical pain,

but the sort of pain felt inside ones self, deep down, in the centre of the heart.

It's hard to see some people's problems as problems, because when you think of all the even bigger problems in the world, these little, everyday things are insignificant. Or that's what we think.