The Stars are Holding You

Chapter Six

I woke feeling warm and peaceful. I felt my even breathing and opened my eyes with shock.

Blinking slowly I took in my surrounding as the world came into focus.

I was in the field, the dewy grass was damp against my legs yet I felt warm.

Only then did I notice the body loosely tangled with mine.

I had an arm wrapped around my waist firmly, and someone's leg was entwined with my own.

I felt warm breathing against my neck which caused me to crane my neck and look at the person next to me.

Laikyn laid peacefully with his eyes closed, his even breathing displayed he was still asleep.

I tried to turn gently in his arms to face him.

"Wake up," I whispered.

He smiled softly and pulled me into his chest, grazing his nose into the nook of my neck.

"No!" I whisper-yelled, pulling against him. "Wake up!"

I gave him I slight shove and he released his hold on me, startled.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust until he focused on me, a slight smile gracing his lips.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," I croaked weakly to him, my voice raspy from all the tears I had shed.

Our eyes locked together in a trance, neither one of us moving.

His gaze was intense, like he was looking inside of me to the depths of my soul. My cheeks flushed and I had to look away first.

"Sorry," he said, unfolding his limbs from mine and sitting up slowly.

I breathed out shallowly and rolled on my back, looking towards the sky.

"What happened last night?" I asked without looking at him.

He was silent for a few minutes, thinking of how to word what he wanted to say.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "I got home from working late shift and decided to go for a run and I just found you."

I nodded, more to myself and turned on my side to look at him.

He was watching the sunrise over the mountains and avoided my gaze.

"It scared the shit out of me Layla."

I stayed silent and waited for him to continue, not really remembering anything after leaving home.

"You were rigid, you wear crying and gasping for air, begging me to make it stop....."

"Anxiety attack," I whispered.

He glanced at me, I could see the glossiness in eyes before he looked back to the mountains.

"They happen a lot?"

He wasn't trying to probe, from his tone he was generally curious. He didn't really have any right to be, my forehead pinched with a slight annoyance.

"No, hardly ever" I lied smoothly, yet not daring to meet his eyes.

"Your lying," he replied almost immediately.

I bit my lip and raised my eyebrows.

"I am?" I challenged.

A cocky smirk graced his face, challenging me back.

"Yep," he replied, popping the p.

I removed my eyes from him and gazed across the field.

"....You don't know me anymore Lake."

He let out a hard laugh and shook his head.

"That's where you wrong Layla, I will always know you. I might not know what you have been through and that's my fault, I know that. I wish I could go back and change things that happened and things that were said but I can't. But don't think for a fucking second that I don't know you. Your mind, your body, your soul, inside and out; I know you.... You can't lie to me."

A smirk formed on my lips and I turned to him with a raised brow.

"My body?"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at the look of annoyance on his face, before a smile formed at the corners of his lips.

"Out of all of that, that's the only part you got you Perv?"

I laughed, for the first time in a long time I truly laughed. Not a laugh to appease others, but one I truly felt inside.

"No," I responded when I finally calmed myself. "I got it all, it's just weird to talk about, like back then, ya know.."

"What do you mean?"

I let out a groan and glanced at him.

"I remember when we were kids. I remember growing up together, being best friends, our fallout... You leaving. Now your back and I don't know how I'm supposed feel about the good stuff... we can't just go back to that place."

The silence lingered between us until Laikyn broke it by letting out a deep breath.

"I guess you're not supposed to feel a certain way," he responded with a shrug. "Just tell me how you DO feel...."

"I dunno..." I murmered, but kept going when he gave me a look saying he didn't believe me.

"I feel... Confused."

"I feel like we have so much history. Seeing you is like the last few years didn't happen and we're still LLVJ."

He grinned at the name, making me pause and smile too.

LLVJ meant Lake and Layla Vs Jake always. When we would gang up on Jake in sports, or jokes or pranks, practically anything, we would always yell it out. It was a stupid childish pact we swore to keep always, but it all changed when I started dating Jake.

Laikyn must have remembered the same thing, there was a slight look of hurt on his face but he masked it with a smile.

"But?" He urged me to go on.

"But we've both changed so much, I get told so often I'm a shell of the person I used to be. We're both hurting and grieving. I keep pushing you away because of how much you remind me of him, but in reality your the only person in my world that knows exactly how I feel. I not naive enough to think you didn't love him, I know you did even if you two did drift apart....

I guess what I'm saying is I know I'm know the only person that lost him.... and I'm sorry if I act like I am."

His hand reached for mine, tingles races through my fingertips as his fingers laced through my own. The feeling shocked me but I didn't move, or speak.

We both just laid in silence for a short while until the sun had fully risen. It wasn't uncomfortable, or awkward, it was just silence.

I untangled my hand from his own and pushed myself off the ground, sweeping some loose grass from my body.

"I should go," I murmered, taking a step towards the running track.

"Wait!" His hand shot out and loosely grabbed ahold of my wrist causing me to turn back and look at him.

"I'm truly sorry for what I said."

He looked so sincere, his voice was soft, his forehead creased.

In that moment he looked innocent and vulnerable, like at the hospital. He wasn't big bad Lake who left his family and his life, yet he wasn't that boy from my childhood who was my best friend.

He was somewhere in between, a little lost, a little lonely and a little broken. Hell, maybe we all were.

I sighed softly and moved my wrist to squeeze his hand.

"I know," I replied softly.

"I forgive you Lake, Jake would want me to."

I left silently and walked home, not finding it in me to be able to run.

But for the first time in such a long time I felt well rested, and even without running; I felt alive.