I looked at the house from the taxi window. It’s the day my father had been waiting for; the day I leave his household. When my sister said she was going to Australia for a 2-month vacation, my Dad held a party on the night before her flight. Another of her daughter is moving away, not for 2 months, but maybe forever as he said, but he didn’t hold a single party. No one is even here to help me carry my bags to the taxi except for Eunice, my maid friend. My sister didn’t even come down to embrace me goodbye like I did to her when she went to Australia, neither is my father here to give me words of advice like she did to my sister.
The last bag was already on the taxi and the taxi driver was calling me. I looked at Eunice. She smiled. It felt warm though it may be was the first smile I saw from a person in the house. I smiled back. I guess it was a goodbye smile. I went in the taxicab and looked at the house once more. Eunice waved goodbye and the taxi began to race away. I felt tears on my cheeks. Why am I crying? I should be happy. I should be happy because I am now separated from the people who hate me a lot, but why are little droplets of water coming out from my eyes? I pulled out a handkerchief and wiped them away. To disguise my puffed eyes, I wore sunglasses.
What will my life be like in Korea? Will I have friends unlike here? Maybe yes, maybe no. Will there be some people who will hate me like my father and my sister? Will I cry tears there too? Will Korea give me kind people in my life? Maybe give me a new life? A life without needing to hide in the shadows, with nobody depriving me from smiling, with no eyes staring at me with great hate? I hope so. My mom is Korean so I shouldn’t have a hard time being with the pure Koreans in school. I wish so. My school is an English school so the Koreans there would be talking in English so I shouldn’t have a hard time understanding people. I sighed. There shouldn’t be problem for me not to have friends. This is my chance to have friends, to renovate my life.
The taxi arrived in the airport. I paid the driver, and registered my luggage. I was an hour and 30 minutes early before the flight so I went to a restaurant nearby. I left the house without eating. I wasn’t in the mood to eat breakfast so now, my stomach gave way to hunger. I went inside a good-looking restaurant, hoping they serve good food as well as the outer appearance of their restaurant suggests. The restaurant had little customers; a group of three guys were eating in a table, another group of four girls were eating in another table, and a girl was eating her breakfast alone. This should be fine with me. I sat on an empty table next to the 3 guys’ tables and the lonely girl’s table as a waitress approached to greet me. I sat on a chair while she handed me the menu. I stared at the menu list and then came to a conclusion that I don’t know what to eat. The waitress smiled. She was waiting for my order but I was deciding too long, so I decided. “Can you please serve me what you personally like in this menu? I will pay no matter what the cost is.” I told her. Her eyes grew wide. “Ma’am? Are you sure? What if you don’t like my taste of food?” she asked. “It’s fine,” I told her, smiling. “I don’t know the food served here like you do.” With that, I guess she understood and walked away. I noticed that the customers were looking at me, and it was a little awkward. Before the waitress reached her working area, a guy from the 3 guys’ group stood and looked at me. I just noticed now, that he looked Korean, and so did the other guys. “Excuse me, can I be the one to choose your breakfast?” he said in a funny accent. I heard one guy from his group say, “Ya! What do you think are you doing?!” I just nodded. I’m not that choosy anyway. “Thank you. I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.” He said with a smile. His smile looked as if he was planning something evil, but maybe it was just his natural smile. I pulled out my phone as I saw the ‘guy who suggested picking out what I should eat’ go to the waitress.
I looked at the pictures of memories in my phone. I viewed the picture of my best friend. Before my life became miserable, I had a best friend named Mindy. She attended same school as I did. When she was my best friend, I considered school as one of my havens where I felt normal and not caged in the darkness. We used to go out every night to see movies. We did duets and recorded our voices. I used to laugh. I used to smile. Crying wasn’t in my vocabulary. But things change. Things fall apart. I killed Mom, and my dad disconnected every connection I had with anyone; people, teachers, classmates, house maids, and then Mindy.
I noticed the same waitress who came to me a while ago coming towards my direction with a white plate and a dish on her palms. I sat up straight and braced myself to eat. She put down the dish and then looked at me with her attractive emerald eyes and wide smile. I blinked. Her smile was the same as my sister’s, and so with my mother’s. My sister, who hates me a lot, and my mother, who ceased to love me like how she loved my sister. I guess everywhere, there will be someone or something to remind me of memories I will soon walk away from but will always be stuck in my life. “Ma’am, here’s your order. Please enjoy.” The waitress said and then began to walk away.
I grabbed the spoon and fork and stared at my food. This is the one the Korean guy suggested. I didn’t know what it was, and only the vegetable was familiar with me. There were broccolis, and some carrots. I don’t know if the chunk of lump was pork or something, but I just wanted to eat. I felt the feeling of being stared at. I knew that some eyes were on me, so I searched for whoever was staring, and found the Korean guys with their eyes on me. As soon as I saw them, they turned their eyes away. I dug my fork unto the clump of what appears to be meat. I felt eyes staring at my direction again. I looked at the Korean guys and found them intently looking at me again. Why are they staring? Is there something on my face? I pulled out a mirror from my bag and took a peek of how I look, and found nothing, no dirt. If there’s no dirt on my face, then why are they staring? I looked at them again. They turned away their heads and pretended to be not looking at me, but they failed to disguise their laughs and smiles. They were laughing at me. Why are they laughing? I didn’t mind. If even in the airport, eyes discriminate me like my Dad, I wouldn’t be able to live freely. I shouldn’t mind them.
I sliced the meat and almost shoved it into my mouth when suddenly, my phone rang. I took my phone as I shoved the food into my mouth. My phone screen lit up and I saw the name of the messenger. Mindy. Mindy had sent me a message. My best friend sent me a message. My long gone best friend who I hadn’t had communication for so long had sent me a message now, now that I am leaving. Why? I ate another spoon of my meal and swallowed it with great difficulty. My hand shook while I stared at my best friend’s name on the phone. Another spoon went into my mouth. I pressed the screen and my best friend’s message appeared on the screen. “Hey! I’m at the airport. Where are you?” It said. I gazed at the message, dumbfounded. I took another shove of my breakfast when suddenly, I felt a spicy sting in my mouth. My mouth was bursting in spiciness. Sh*t!! I’ve been eating a spicy meal and I didn’t notice because of Mindy’s text!! I grabbed the cup of water that was served on the table and gulped mouthfuls of the fresh cold water. The peppery taste cooled down and I sighed with relief. I heard laughs from a direction and it turned out to be the Korean boys.
My face went red. All the people in the restaurant were looking at me with laughs on their faces. I bowed my head in embarrassment when something came into my head. My eyes went big and I raised my head and looked at the Korean guy who had suggested on picking what meal I would be eating. He was laughing with his smile so wide, and so were his companions. I stared at them and then at last, they looked back. The Korean guy was still smiling and it seemed that he was at his edge and that he could hardly control his annoying laugh. “Unni, did you like the breakfast I wanted you to have?” he said still with the wide grin pasted on his face. What’s with him? He made the waitress serve me a spicy meal as a breakfast! He tricked me! And I was too kind to let him choose!
This can’t be. If I let will continue letting people hurt me, they’ll never learn to respect me, nor to back down. I’ve had enough. My mom maybe would be cursing me from her tomb, my dad has kicked me out of the house I live in, my sister, well, and she doesn’t care. I let my family treat me like an outcast, someone who does not belong to the same family. I’ve let them torture me and deprive me from every source of life around me. If I let people outside my family step on me, I will end up nowhere. No, no, no, no, no, I’ve always been hated. I can endure the hatred being ricocheted towards me, but not to make fun of me. I hate my parents. I hate my sister. I hate my family. I hate all people. “Raven!!!” On the cliff of bursting because of my anger, someone called my name. I noticed the spoon and fork tightly choked by my hands. That, voice…Mindy.
