I Saw A Brighter World

The Bed

Yes. This is it. What have i done to the young me, the growing me, the once happy me?

I don't think i was the only sane person in the preparation ward feeling so pathetic, so...i don't know, Vulnerable?
There i lay on the prep board, getting pins, tubes, needles piercing through the back of my smooth, vein popped hand. That moment was surprisingly not painful. I had no feel. I could not feel the so called excrutiating pain inflected on me for that fast 10 minutes.

" Is okay...We just want to put them in to ensure your life is forever happy after leaving this place." I could tell the nurse was trying her hardest to comfort the sadden, shrunken me. But as i said, i had no feel.

After that, i went into a mental daze of about 20 minutes. Before i could even turn that into a daydream, i awoke and realise i have been warded into the what the nurses and doctors call, " high dependancy ward".

" Pa, where am i? What are they going to do to me? I am scared. " Nobody could visually realise, but, i was tearing slowly as i asked my father.

On that bright turquiose bed, lying lifelessly, i then got a sudden flashback of what the doctor told me. I am diagnosed with Diabetes.

I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. I couldn't even think about what i am going to do when i wake up in the morning again, a new day...in...the hospital. No one...and i really mean, NO ONE can stop me from crying the whole time i was there.

Obviously, there is a part of me that really wants to stop, a part of me that can't accept what reality threw at me, but no matter what i really couldn't stop.

My senior called me. My teacher texted me. My friends asked me frantically...but i couldn't stop.

Crying my eyes dry apparently stopped me. But i know my heart, the once joyful, hopeful heart, sank to the dark depths of pain and it...will never be fished back out...

My father wasn't smiling. He was...sobbing silently...everytime i look away.

I can't stop him too. No one could stop us...

It is then i slept and drifted into i have no idea what it is...but i can say it is a combination of a daydream and a blissful "nightmare".

END OF SECTION 1:1

notes from author:

Hey guys thanks for spending your time reading this emotional part of my life. Overcoming this was never an easy thing. I never knew that i had a chance to recover. I never knew i could even smile the next day. But here is one sentence that kept me going:

" today is just a day, tomorrow shall be another day, but a better one. "

I made that up when i was bored in the hospital. But surprisingly, this was what calmed me, pushed me to jump over the hurdles or Diabetes.

If you ever meet up on any challenges, obstacles, major leaps, there really is no fault in crying, screaming, shouting. To let it out, is to go even more forward. Have no fear, make it a point for tomorrow to be a better day, a better one for you to have, a better one where you smile and most importantly a better one to remember and recall.

-g laurens