Stydia

Wake Me Up

Lydia

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"No!" I scream as I wake up gasping for breath, sitting up in bed. I slowly run my hands through my hair as I try to regulate my breathing.

I feel Stiles hand on my back before I know it, but I still don't look over at him as I feel him sit up in bed right next to me.

"Bad dream again?" He asks as he slowly rubs comforting circles on my back with his hand. I nod, saying yes to his question.

"Is it the same one as last time?" He asks. I nod. "Yeah. They took me again. But it was... Longer. A longer dream then normal. And it was like I was watching myself. Because they changed my memories of you and I hated you. And I kept yelling at myself and telling myself that it's not what happened." I say. He nods.

"Ok. But you know what? They can't hurt you. Ok? You're with me. They won't hurt you. Not a chance. Because I won't let them touch you. Especially Aiden. I can't stand the thought of him causing you pain and him raping you... Lydia I don't want anyone to cause you pain. And I won't let them." He says.

I look over at him, my heart still slightly racing from the dream as he continues to rub circles on back. But for some reason his expression calms me.

Maybe its the fact that Stiles has been the only one thats cared about me and protected me. Or maybe it's the fact that Stiles can always find a way to calm me down-even in the toughest situations-with just his smile.

I softly smile at him and lean my head on his shoulder. I feel his arm wrap around my side and his hand go on my arm.

"Sorry that I woke you up." I say, my head still on his shoulder as I look straight ahead.

"No need to be sorry. I was already awake anyways." He says. I feel him start to trace circles on my arm with his thumb.

"Did you have nightmares again too?" I ask glancing up at him. He nods.

"What were they about?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Lydia I don't want you too be worried about me. Ok? That's why I don't tell you my nightmares. Because you don't need to be worried about me." He says.

I shake my head. "Stiles, if you don't tell me I'll be more worried. Please just- please tell me this time." I say. He glances down at me and hesitantly nods.

"My nightmare is about... Losing you. All of them are actually. That's why you see me gasping for breath sometimes when I wake you up accidentally after my nightmares. Because my biggest fear isn't anything that they could do to me- it's losing you." He says.

I look up at him confused. "How did you lose me this time?" I ask. He bites his lip.

"We'll it's different every time, but in this one, they took you. We'll they actually took both of us, but they tied me up and made me watch as Aiden... As he..."

He sighs shakily and runs his other hand through his hair. "And then after they did that, they left me and you alone in the room. You were crying-bawling your eyes out actually, with a choke in your mouth so you couldnt scream. But then Aiden snuck in. I didnt even see him at first until she took out his claws." I see him squeeze his eyes shut as he stops tracing circles on my arm.

He doesnt need to finish his sentence for me to know what happened next. I can tell he doesn't want to really talk about it so I lean up, and softly kiss him on the lips holding his face in my hands.

As I back away, his eyes open slowly. "Stiles listen to me ok?" I ask. He nods.

I take his hand and put it on my heart, my hand overlapping him. "You feel that right? I'm alive. I'm alive because you've kept me safe this whole time. Because you've actually cared about me. No ones ever tried to keep me safe. You're the only one." I say.

He shakes his head. "That's not true. I bet Jackson-"

"Jackson didn't care enough Stiles. Even before the whole Kanima thing happened. He loved me, but not more than he loved himself." I say. I leave his hand on my heart as he starts to shake his head more.

"Lydia-"

"No Stiles. It's the truth ok? You're the only one who's ever cared. Even my parents don't care. And don't try to comfort me and tell me that they do, because you know they don't." I sigh looking down.

I take my hand off of his and his hand falls onto my lap. "Stiles I hate that I can't help you. I hate that everything I try to do to help, ends up somehow making me the center of attention. I hate that so much. I hate myself so much. I can't do anything right and whenever I try, I either get more people killed, or make you feel like you've done something wrong." I say looking down.

There is a slight pause, and i really start thinking about the bad things that I've done, and how much I've screwed everything up. But this time I feel Stiles' hands grasp my right hand as he brings it up to his heart.

I look up slowly at we're he placed my hand, his hands still over mine, and as I do he starts to talk. "Do you feel that? You feel my heart beating in my chest? It proves that you're alive. And as long as I'm alive, my purpose is to prove to you how amazing you are, and let you see yourself how I see you. As the most amazing and beautiful person that I've ever layed eyes on." He says with a soft smile. I smiles softly up to him.

"I love you Lydia." He says. I smile.

"And you being alive is the only help I need."
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AUTHORS NOTE
Sorry if this sucked guys its an older one that I did and forgot to post lol
-Spaz