I'd Give The World to See You Smile 【Sonya/Mary • Anatole/Dolokhov】

Chapter 1

Sonya awoke in her bed with the early morning sunlight streaming through the lace curtains onto her freckled face. The events of the opera the night before returned to her and her smile faded. She'd seen the way Natasha had been looking at Kuragin. She knew men like that wanted nothing more than to have their way with a girl and then never see them again.

She went pink at the thought. She was about to prepare herself for the day when Natasha flung open the door, excitable as ever.

'Cousin, do you have no manners at all?' Sonya sighed, smiling.

'Andrey sent a letter!' Natasha said happily, dancing into the room, still in her nightgown. She flung herself onto the bed and rested her head on Sonya's shoulder as she read.

'My dearest Natasha...' she began, and she read it twice, just in case Sonya had missed anything the first time.

'Isn't it wonderful?' she cried, just as she did every time she received a letter.

'He will make a wonderful husband for you,' Sonya said, giving her cousin's shoulder a squeeze. 'And you will make a wonderful wife.'

She noticed Natasha's perfect smile crack for just a moment. 'Yes. Well, I love him,' she said decidedly. 'I love him with all my heart, as I could never love another.'

It occurred to Sonya that perhaps Natasha was trying to convince herself rather than anyone else. But her words brought relief to Sonya nonetheless. Natasha was sensible, and would not let herself be overwhelmed by dishonest men like Kuragin.

'No matter who you marry, I'll always be here for you,' Sonya said softly.

Natasha lifted her large brown eyes to meet Sonya's. 'Don't be absurd. You'll have to find a husband too, someday.'

Sonya, a wife to some faceless man. The idea had occurred to her before, and it repulsed her. All the men she knew were disgusting scoundrels, out for money and other things women could give them. She didn't wish to be bound to any of them.

'Someday, maybe,' she repeated absently, running her fingers through Natasha's hair. Her eyes refocused suddenly. 'Come, light a candle. I want to show you something.'

'So how does this game work?'

Sonya smiled as she aligned the mirrors. 'They say you can see your future. You hold the candle to the mirror, and in the last square you will see your future – either a coffin, or a man.' She paused and smirked. 'Everyone sees a man.'

Natasha squinted at the tiny image in the dark depths of the mirror. 'I see a shape in the darkness... Is it him? Or is it...?' She trailed off but Sonya knew exactly what she would have said. Then Natasha's face became frightened. 'He's lying down! Oh, Sonya, why is he lying down?'

Sonya hurriedly wrapped her arms around her cousin and kissed her hair. 'It's alright, Natasha, it's just a silly game. I only wanted to see you laugh.'

Natasha sobbed into Sonya's nightgown. 'I'm so frightened. Andrey will never come, or something will happen to me before he does.'

'Hush, now, Natasha, you know he'll be fine,' Sonya said gently.

For the second time, Natasha's eyes met Sonya's. 'What do you see, Sonya?'

'What do I see?' Sonya was surprised by the question, and she didn't answer. In reality, she knew there was a man in that mirror just waiting to make her his bride. But Sonya didn't not see a man, nor did she see a coffin.

No, whenever she looked in the mirror she saw, without a doubt, the distinct silhouette of a woman.

After church, Marya Dmitrievna insisted on seeing the old Prince Bolkonsky and his daughter to reproach them for their treatment of Natasha, and ordered Sonya to accompany her. Sonya wanted to stay home and take care of Natasha, but the latter assured her she was fine, and so Sonya had no choice but to go with Marya Dmitrievna.

Sonya didn't know much about the Bolkonskys. She'd met Andrey, yes, and she'd seen the father in society, but only on occasion. The man and his daughter were known for being a little eccentric. Sonya had never seen the daughter – Mary, she believed her name was – except at church, every Sunday, not looking at anyone. Mary almost always had her head bent in prayer, so much so that Sonya had never really seen her face.

She straightened her dress as she and Marya Dmitrievna approached the grand doors to Bolkonsky's manor. The door was answered by a maid, who led them to the drawing room where Princess Mary was sitting, drinking tea by herself.

'Oh!' Mary exclaimed, rising quickly and almost spilling tea on herself. 'My apologies, we weren't expecting guests.'

Marya's lips were sealed in a tight scowl, but Sonya immediately took pity on the girl. She was around Sonya's age and clearly just as terrified as she was.

'My name is Marya Dmitrievna Akhrosimova, Countess Natalya's godmother,' Marya said in her most booming voice which made both girls flinch. 'I am looking for Prince Nicholas Bolkonsky. I want a word with him immediately.'

Princess Mary paled. 'I... Yes, of course. You see, he may still be asleep...'

'Immediately!' Marya repeated, and Mary jumped.

'Yes, yes, I shall find him myself!' Mary announced, fleeing from the room.

'That poor woman,' Sonya remarked sadly, watching the door she'd departed from. 'She clearly hates it here.'

'What makes you think that?' Marya asked, eyebrows raised.

Sonya gestured around at the dimly-lit room, curtains drawn, furnished with objects from the past century. 'One couldn't possibly want to live like this.'

They were interrupted by the sound of voices shouting from above. Sonya could make out the voice of Mary, as well as one she could only guess was the prince's. Her heart sank at the thought of her dear cousin marrying into this family.

A few moments later, the voices subsided, and Mary reappeared in the room, looking shaken and possibly even more pale.

'I-I'm sorry,' she said in a whisper. 'My father is not well and will not be able to see you now. Perhaps another time.'

'Yes, perhaps,' Marya Dmitrievna scowled. 'Come, Sonya.'

She strode out of the room, coat swaying behind her, and Sonya, with a moment's hesitation, was about to follow, before Mary grabbed her arm. Sonya jumped.

'Please,' Mary said softly, eyes darting across Sonya's face. 'When you see Countess Natalya, please tell her I am immensely sorry for how I treated her yesterday. It was completely outrageous of me, and I pray she can find it in her heart to forgive me.'

Sonya stopped, heart racing. She felt terrible for the princess. She lived in her brother's shadow, unable to marry, and having to serve her demanding father day after day in this monstrous house. She looked so helpless, Sonya wanted to embrace her just like Natasha.

'I shall tell her,' Sonya assured her. 'But you are always welcome to come to our house and tell her yourself.'

Mary smiled shyly. 'I don't think my father would allow it.'

'Sonya, come along!' Marya snapped from outside.

'Well, perhaps I can visit some time?' Sonya offered. 'I'm sure you could use the company, as could I.'

The princess went a little pink, just how Sonya always did. 'That would be...'

'Sofia Alexandrovna, I swear to all that is holy-'

'I have to go,' Sonya said quickly, darting away.

She could still feel Mary's fingerprints on her wrist.