Toxic Summer | Kwon Hyuk.

Focus On Me.

He stood in front of me as I laid back on the hood of his car. His eyes sunken and glazed over. He was looking at me but he really wasn't. It was evident to me that he was having trouble focusing.

His thumb gently rubbed against my lower lip then trailed into my mouth.
He roughly rubbed the large amount of snow into my gums then followed by sticking his tongue down my throat which I gladly accepted.

In the middle of the road where he had stopped the car with his favourite Rolling Stones cd blaring, he hiked my already short skirt up to my waist and pulled my thong to the side.

"You feel so good" he moans into my ear plunging deep into me.

He bit down hard on my shoulder. So hard he drew blood causing me to moan out with pleasure. The line between pain and pleasure was extremely thin and we had long before crossed that boundary. The line was so blurred that you could now, call them the same thing.

Drugs, alcohol and sex could temporarily fill that void but after the high was gone it was straight back to the same place i was trying to run from in the first place. It was a vicious circle.

A while after we were in the car, thirsty and still high I asked him to stop the car
"Stop the car" He kept his head forward and his eyes low he didn't respond which enraged me. I hit my hand hard on the dashboard and got in his face shouting for him to stop

"Stop the fucking car Dean" He looked at me from the corner of his eye. The car suddenly stopped and with a swift movement he grabbed my neck and started strangling me. I couldn't help but laugh regardless of the fact I couldn't breathe.

"Don't you ever fucking get in my face again. Do you hear me?" He shouted in my face. I forced his hand off of my neck and looked in the mirror at his hand print around my neck. I rolled my eyes and laughed at his comical display of power.

"Asshole" I spat back at him getting out of the car.

I walked into the gas station picking up whatever I felt. I could see Dean sitting on the hood of the car watching my every move. Opening a can of beer from the fridge i slowly sipped on it. The cashier was staring at me and I was looking straight back at him still eating the snacks and drinking the beer that I had opened.

"You have to pay for that miss" I smiled grabbing a case of beers and making my way out putting it all in the backseat with the other drinks hat sat there.

"Excuse me! You have to pay for that" The shots that rang out were so loud they left my ears tingling so I was sure could be heard from a mile away.

"Get back behind your till before I put one in your head" Dean scowled still sitting on the hood of the car with his gun lazily pointed at the clerk, who was frozen in fear.

"Fucking move" Dean motioned with the gun

Without hesitation the clerk ran back inside. I was unbothered as I knelt down to tie my shoelace. I could feel his presence in front of me I watched as his foot gently tapped in a very unsettling manner. He stood in front of me but still I didn't move until I was done tying my shoelaces. As I stood up and we were face to face, he placed his gun to my temple. I rested my body weight on my right leg and crossed my arms.

"Go ahead. Do it" I sighed

"You want to die?" He squinted smiling

"I wouldn't mind but I find this situation unfortunate." his smile dropped and he narrowed his eyes towards me

"Why? You scared?"

"I know you're not man enough to do the job"

"You really think I won't fucking do it?" He shouted laughing

"I know you won't do it baby. You love me" I laughed back taunting him

"Love you? I could fucking care less about you J"

"In that case you better hurry up. I'm getting kinda bored here" I shrugged

I repositioned the gun so it was In front of my open mouth. I really wanted him to do it. Maybe this would be the only real way to escape this living nightmare.

"You talk too much. If you really wanted to do it you would have done it already."

I smiled at him taking the gun from his hand and placing it back in the back of his trousers making sure that my body was pressed against his. We stood there staring at each other, motionless for a while before I perked up.

"Get in baby boy. Let's get going"
I sat in the drivers seat with Dean, reluctantly, in the passengers seat.

We'd been in that position multiple times before. Sometimes I held the gun and other times he held it. We never would pull the trigger I feel like we were both aware of how much we needed each other's presence. Our relationship was confusing to me myself I didnt want to be with him but I couldn't see myself with anyone else. I couldn't see myself allowing anyone else to have their way with my body in the middle of nowhere and I wouldn't want to. He was all I had regardless of how much I hated him and the things he did I wouldn't have it any other way.