The Girl With Lined Skin

Lined Skin

I'll never forget 7th grade..  sitting next to a girl I barley knew.. scars all over her body covered from arms to ankles.. she was beautiful. I didnt know what those little lines where all over her skin.. I thought about asking her.. I didn't wanna embarrass her tho.. so I sat and kept looking. Her growing uncomfortable..  I looked away but always found myself looking back..  fasanated and in awe of her skins beauty.  I later asked a friend if they knew what she had..  when my friend answered 'depression' i didn't get what she meant.  I went home and looked it up. 'How does depression give your skin lines'.. I Google imaged it just to make sure it was the same 'condition'.. the next day I sat there and cried in gym. No one came up to me they all just stared.. when I sat down. The girl with lined skin came up to me and asked if I was okay. I told her no I'm not okay.. and asked her why someone so beautiful and talented would destroy themselves like she has. She took a seat next to me and whispered. "I haven't destroyed myself. I added to my gallery. I marked my pain and sorrow. Everyone else here acts as if there happy and have no pain. I don't pretend. I won't let my demons win so I mark everytime I've had victory."  Threw out the day I didn't understand.  I was caught off guard by what she said. I went home a pondered over it. But I didn't get why not use paper and pen? Why was she causing herself harm. The next day she came to gym with red lines instead of white.  I went up to her and demanded her tell me what happened and who hurt her. She simply said "I made sure I won again. My demons hurt me but I won the battle" With a smile on her face. I assumed everything was fine. She was smiling after all..  I went home and did my research and I vowed to help her. To figure this thing out.  I didn't get how to help but I was gonna figure this thing out. The next day I went to school looking for her, she wasn't in the class we had together. I was angry and confused why she wouldn't show up knowing I had something to tell her.. I asked many ppl but no one knew.  To me it felt like she refused my help.. I was gonna tell her not to talk to me until she's apologizing to me.. the next 2 weeks she still didn't show. I was still so fascinated with her and her skins beauty I was waiting to see her.. I didn't get why she wasn't coming..  one day her mom came into the school and brought the girl.. I sat outside the office furious waiting for them to come out. An hour passed and I slipped in and grabed the girls arm and pulled her outside. Pinning her against the wall by her arms "where have you been ? I'm trying to help you but I can't if your not here. I have to figure your skin out. I have to figure out who's really doing this to you and why."  The girl looked as if she was in pain. When I let her arms go I saw the faded red gashes on her wrist. She looked at me with tears filling her eyes "My demons almost won." I looked at her tears streaming down my face "I know there isn't demons so tell me who is doing this to you" she fell to the floor "I'm doing it to myself. And my thoughts are my demons. And they're targets are my insecurities."  I sat in front of her in thought. Why wouldn't she tell me? Why won't she stop? "Why would you continue to let me try to help you when it's yourself causing the pain? I asked. The girl responded by saying "I wanted you to know what it felt like before you feel like me"