Flower boy• phan

1

There are numerous trigger warnings in this story, so I will inform you of them now.

In chapter two: parents fighting/ abuse

In chapter two: self harm / fainting

In chapter three: self harm

In chapter three: parental abuse/ fighting

In chapter three: homophobic comments/ harassment.

In chapter seven: a little bit sexual but it's consensual

In chapter 8: little sexual but consensual

In chapter 8: homophobic comments/ harassment

In chapter 8 : assuming gender

In chapter nine: sexual but consensual

In chapter ten: sexual consensual

In chapter ten: hate crime / homophobic harassment

In chapter ten: death

In chapter ten: suicide / gore

I really hope you take these into consideration so you will not get triggered from any mental health disordered or health issues I try my best to stay prepared.

Also this story is set in the 1980's so that's why some things are they way they are or seem a bit weird.

But let's DIVE IN
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Fed up. Fed up with my stupid parents and their stupid jobs that cause them to move so I have to go to different schools. I have to reintroduce myself so much I'm constantly looking for new ways to perfect my speech because I know it will happen many more times.

But, no mater how done I am with this whole situation, I get up. Why ? Well, I don't really know , I just have to I guess.

The normal routine:

My alarm goes of, I grogily move out of my bed to press the button on my phone and silence the annoying sound that gives me instant dread.
Ugh.

I quickly turn them all off, because I'm a very insecure waker, I put on ten alarms.

I know! I'm stupid but it helps me calm down and know I'll wake up somehow.

I switch the alarm off for,

5:00 am
5:01 am
5:02 am
5:10 am
5:15 am
5:20 am
5:25 am
5:30 am
5:35 am
6:00 am

I'm ridiculous I know.

I pull on my warn denim jeans, white shirt, and blue denim jacket.

I cuff my jeans and shirt just because I think I look snazzy but in reality I probably look stupid, but oh well. I tried at least.

I find my big circle glasses and complete my "old-timey" look.

Usually I have no breakfast because I get so anxious I could sick it all back up so I choose not to.

And then I brush my teeth and I adjust my curly hair with my fingers.

-

When I walk I like to look at the side walk. Most look at the sky and admire the clouds and the beautiful white lines created by fast moving planes we dreamed of as little kids when looking out the windows.

I look at grey broken concrete.

I don't know why, just I always pretty much seem to be looking down and when I can catch the time when I'm finally alone it isn't long so I still don't have time to look at the sky.

The concrete is kind of soothing to me I guess. Like when something has such a satisfying texture? And I also like when I walk I crunch into red and yellow fallen leaves, sometimes I kick little brown pebbles.

I like how it seems so strong but can be so easily broken if you try hard enough. And , I mean, have you ever seen completely perfect concrete? No, it always has cracks, or black skid marks. I like it.

-

I end up at, yet another one of these stupid high schools that I will attend for four months then leave. Happens every time. So I don't try and make friends because there, honest to god, is no point anymore. There was a point when I was little because I could trade Pokémon cards and we could listen to music and ride our bikes down hills. But when you get older all people do to you is leave . Sometimes they stay but it's usually because they want something from you and , I don't have the time of day to waste my time on someone who wants something I have.

Want my jacket you like so much? Fucking take it , if it means that much. Want my happiness? Ha, good luck finding it, if you want it just don't talk to me, and then look at me in rude ways.

I open the glass doors and , I feel really good that there are people all around me, smaller than me so probably a younger grade, walking to the door and seem just about as scared as I.

I followed my imaginary path, that only god and my brain could see , to the room that said headmistress office.

When I opened the door a bell rang? It made me jump and I knocked a picture down that's as behind me.

"We really should put a sign that says 'bell'," sighed a lady with brown hair , some tinged slightly grey, standing behind a desk.

"Or take down the bell?", I added.

She smiled a bit, "that too,"

I walked all the way up to the desk and she turned to a computer and began typing rapidly.

"I do assume you are James Daniel howell?" She asked

I pushed my fingers through my hair and nodded.

"I go by dan, my mom just fell asleep after she birthed me and my dad was drunk so he named me James but my mother wanted dan, and I realize you didn't ask, sorry," I rambled.

The lady smiled , then she printed out a sheet of paper with my schedule.

"Here you go, your combination is here," she pointed to a tiny code, " your class list is here," she moved her finger to a list, "and you lunch period is number 6 take place at 1:00"

She handed me the paper and wished me luck.

I'll need it this place is huge.