Freal Luv <chanbaek> ✔

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The blood dripped down my arm as the blade continued to cut my delicate skin. I couldn't even feel the blade going deeper into my skin. I just wanted to let go of everything. I was done. I'm ready now. Ready to let go. I could hear the faint meows from my cat as the blood started to pool on the bathroom floor. I had no control over the blade now, it just continued to cut my skin, over and over again. Before I knew it everything went black. No, not black, it was more of a maroon, a dark red. Everything went dark red.

-

"Chanyeol, it's time to wake."

I opened my eyes slightly, blinking a few times as I stared at the unperfect, semi-white ceiling, looking at every crack and stain that represented my life. I had been dropped into this hell hole yesterday, not even giving me a say in it. I don't want to be here, I never did, but when my mom found me passed out in the bathroom, a pool of blood next to my arm, she instantly flipped. I wish I could have died, I've had enough. I knew I couldn't keep this "happy virus" act up for much longer. My mother, so shocked she couldn't even bring me here her self, my sister did.

The door creaked open slowly as I sat up in bed, my entire forearm covered in bandages, liquids going into my other arm through a small tube. I looked to the door to see a nurse rolling in a tray of food, of course, I had been thinning out from not eating much, my blood sugar was low which probably was another reason for why I passed out. The nurse had a smile on her face as she brought the tray to my bed. I sat up completely as I looked down at the food, consisting of toast, eggs, and bacon. I really didn't want to eat, I wasn't feeling hungry at all.

"How are you feeling dear?" the nurse asked sweetly.

I looked at her with irritation, not wanting to be here or to be spoken to at all.

"I'm feeling fine," I lied through my teeth. I was feeling terrible.

"Well eat your breakfast, I'll come by a little later to bring you to the doctor," she said as she left the room, closing the door behind her with the faint sound of a lock.

I looked down at the food with a little disgust. I picked up the piece of toast and took small bight, I had to listen or I'd never leave this place.

-

"Park Chanyeol," the man with stubble on his chin said as he came into the room that I was dragged into, looking down at a clipboard. "I see you've got a lot of things going on with you."

I looked at him with anger as he came closer to me.

"Why don't you tell me what's been going on at home bud?" the doctor asked as he sat in the small swivel chair, looking at me like I was a five-year-old boy, but I wasn't, I'm eighteen.

"I've just been having a hard time," I said simply.

"How's your parent's relationship?" he asked as he started to write down a few things.

"Fine," I answered monotonously.

"They don't fight at all?"

"No."

"How about your relationships with friends?"

"I don't have any," I told him.

"You just moved didn't you?" the doctor asked, glancing up for a second.

"Yes."

"So tell me why you've been hurting yourself."

I froze for a minute, my expression not changing, but my heart rate increasing.

"I just," I started, not sure if I should tell him or not, no I have to. I have to listen so I can leave and never come back. "Hate myself."

The doctor nodded as he wrote done a few things. I looked at him nervously as my hand gripped to the side of the bed I was sitting on.