Lifestyle: One Direction

Chapter four

quick IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm sorry i did this but I changed the name she chooses, I did this for purposes that might be obvious or not, but her name officially is

Diana Bails

SO PLEASE KNOW THAT... continue :)

I walked back to the house, when I opened the door I heard hushed tones and I quietly walked over where I could hear what was being said.

"She isn't her self, I don't know how to explain it." Harry said

"No, I get what you mean, what ever happened to her has gotten her messed up." Liam said agreeing with Harry.

I didn't know if I should be irritated or grateful they thought this. This made me think even more about not coming back. And the more that I thought about it the more I thought it would be a good idea. Maybe I could do it still, tell them I couldn't do it. It wasn't anything they did but everything feels so useless. I had to think though, anywhere I were to go, I couldn't escape it. My scent has been marked and the crazy blood hound will chase me till the end.

I walked in, quietly not saying a word and sat on the couch. They all gave each other looks, all of them waiting for me to say something like I caught them in the act. But I decided against it.

For me telling them that I am changing my name, for a fresh start it's something I'm not ready to tell them yet.

"How did it go?" Harry asked

"Fine." I replied casual, unwrapping the bandage from my arm, where I had a blood draw.

"Okay." Louis said with an awkward tone

"We were wanting to maybe go out, maybe later tonight to the club." Niall chimed in

"Sounds good." I replied

"Sooo, lets go?" Liam said and we all walked out with some guards to their van.

"Well this is a change." I mumbled to myself but Harry heard me

"Yeah you get to sit back and relax." He said putting his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm going to have to get used to it." I had an edginess to my voice, I felt still on auto pilot like I had to be on guard. I didn't really feel jumpy, but on my toes.

"Calm down, nothing is going to happen." He whispered in my ear and I took a deep breath relaxing my shoulders. It was going to be a little car drive to town, so everyone was either on there phone or resting their heads and taking a nap.

I decided to lay my head for a little, and I leaned on Harry. I felt in a stage of half sleep and half awake and my mind went back to the last time I was in a car with them. It was something that was wrong and would be something someone would try to erase from their mind but my mind so tainted was okay with that memory. But then my mind flicked to the last time I was in a car.

*5 months ago*

I was moving fast, too fast. I was going to die I knew it, I was driving to fast in a stolen car. But she was there, in that car and if I lost her... I didn't know if I would find her again.

It was a hard thing, to seek out your own mother and kill her. I didn't know what to think I haven't had time to process it, it was just dive in, I left and i've been moving ever since. A tiny part of me didn't want to do this, because even though I've never spent a minute with her where we weren't trying to murder each other, I seen her eyes they looked like mine they crinkled the right way and her smile was identical to mine. And it was those things that made me want to stop myself from what I had to do, I had no say in this though and that's what made this all too difficult because no matter what path I took thinking that it was my choice, I would always end up there, cold and blood on my hands that I have yet accepted.