Daddy Issues

Chapter 1: little girl

"Fuck", was my first thought this morning. I rolled my eyes as my alarm clock continued to go off. There was nothing about today that I was looking forward to.

Birthdays were never something I wanted to make a big deal about. I mean, turning 16 is a really big deal, I get that. But there was always something about aging that made me sick to my stomach.

I turned my alarm clock off, threw on a denim jacket, ran a hand through my messy hair, and put on some black lipstick. I felt like mourning today. 15-year-old Katerina is dead now, after all.

My best friend, Ashley, texted me saying she was outside. She drives me to school everyday. She also drives me to the brink of insanity, which is fun.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER FUCKER!" Ashley always did her best to make a ridiculously big deal about my birthday, which I appreciate, but also loathe.

"Thank you, but if you could just keep it on the down low this year that'd be great."

"You know there's zero chance of me doing that, right?"

"Yeah. I figured."

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We arrived at school with 2 minutes until the bell rang, as usual. I rushed to my locker only to find it covered in streamers and balloons. Of course Ashley broke in to the school last night just to tape tasteless birthday decor on my locker. Of course she did.

I grabbed my books and shoved the decorations into my locker, hoping no one would have noticed.

The rest of the school day went by relatively painlessly. After threatening to tell Ashley's mom about her smoking habit, she finally piped the fuck down about all the birthday stuff. Unfortunately, though, she still insisted on us going to a bar tonight to celebrate. Her gift to me this year was a fake ID.

"Practical, AND cool." Ashley had said after giving it to me. "And don't forget to wear something slutty tonight! I'll pick you up at 9."

I swapped my black lipstick for red. (Because what's sluttier than red lipstick, ya know?) After spending a solid 45 minutes deciding between a leather skirt and a slip dress, I decided on the skirt. When 9 o'clock rolled around my mom was already wine drunk and asleep in her bedroom, so sneaking out was no problem. She had been doing that a lot since dad left.

"Oh my fucking god, Kitty! You DO have a body." Ashley had been calling me that since we met in second grade.

"Shut up and drive."

Ashley actually let me choose the music on our way to the bar after I pulled the birthday girl card.

"Daddy Issues? How appropriate." Ashley laughed.

"It's my new anthem, all things considered."

We made jokes about how we were both fatherless and pathetic for the rest of the drive. She and I had always been good at making shitty things seem a little bit better.

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After an hour we had finally made it to Ashley's favorite dive bar in Seattle. Thankfully, the bouncer let us in without a second glance.

"I'm gonna go get us some drinks. Get us a table in front of the stage, yeah?"

I hadn't realized there was gonna be live music, but it was a pleasant surprise. I found a table for two right in front of the stage and took a seat. Everyone was clapping for the band on stage who had just finished a song.

"Thank you! This'll be our last one for tonight, it's called Knuckles."

I was captivated as they played. Something about their music seemed different. Real.

Ashley found our table and sat down a round of shots.

"They any good?" She asked, nodding in the direction of the stage.

"Better than good."

We threw back on our shots and Ashley decided to get up and order another round.

I pulled out my phone, not wanting to seem like I was there by myself.

Fifteen minutes had gone by, so I decided to go look for her just in case she had decided it was a good idea to blow somebody in a bathroom again.

I stood up, a little wobbly from the shot, and bumped into someone.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm a hot mess."

"Don't worry about it, you're alright."

I was mortified as I realized who I had bumped in to. It was the lead singer from the band that had just finished playing. I'm such an idiot, I thought. Of course I'm making an idiot of myself right now. Fuck my life.

"First time at a bar? You seem a little young to be here."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I'm afraid so." He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Are you here for anything special? A birthday, maybe?"

"I actually turned 16 today. And oh my god, why did I tell you that? Please don't tell anyone who works here. My friend would kill me if we got kicked out."

"Don't worry" he leaned in to whisper "It'll be our little secret."

I shivered at the feeling of his breath on my ear. I couldn't help it. He was gorgeous.

"I'd better go find my friend, but it was nice to meet you."

He pulled away from my ear, having noticed my shivering and smiled.

"Take care of yourself." He winked and started walking away, leaving me dazed, and I'm sure, looking like an idiot.

His voice snapped me out of my trance, and for the first time since I was 10, I heard something I thought I'd never hear again.

"Don't let me catch you here again, little girl. Or a guy like me might take advantage of you."

Little girl. Had I heard him right? Did he really just call me that?

Ashley then grabbed my arm in a panic.

"We have to go! Like right the fuck now. The bartender checked my ID this time and said he'd call the cops if we didn't leave. I'm so sorry."

I was in too much of a daze to care.