The Dumping Ground, who loves me?

What happened to Bex?

This took me like 15 minutes, reason why it's probably crap. Lol, I literally wrote this as I was watching Doctor Foster, therefore there is going to be loads of mistakes and it's a little all over the place.

*Not much happened the last few weeks. It was more pretending that I didn't exist. Since my panic attack, I barley left the house. I did try on multiple occasions but every time I neared the door, my body started to shake all over and I felt as though I wasn't in control. Staring at the same four walls for hours at a time started to take a toll on my emotional health, It didn't help either that I was getting sick of Bex and her odd behaviour, she will always be my best friend and I will love her not matter what, but something had changed about her and these passed few weeks it was becoming more and more apparent. She never laughed like she used to, if she did, it was fake and always blown out of proportion. The sparkle in her eye was now dull and shallow looking. She would disappear at night for hours and then come back all hot and sweaty and as though she was on another planet. I wanted to slap her around the face and ask her what hell was going on, but she would only start shouting at me, then would come the reminder of since I've been at hers "I've done fuck all to contribute to the running of the house." Was the words she always used.

*I stared at myself in the mirror, I was meant be a young looking teenager, but instead I looked like a middle aged woman. The bags under my eyes matched how heavy my life felt and my hair was that greasy I could fry an egg on it. The person staring back at me was a real eye opener and I knew from this day forward, I had to change. I ran my hand under the tap and splashed a few sprinkles of water on my face. Took a few breaths and went out the bathroom, towards the kitchen. Bex was stood near the sink, looking out the window, she hadn't moved in the last few hours. "Bex," I said, startling myself, this was the first time I spoke in two weeks. "I, I" my voice began to tremble. Bex eyes slowly moved from the window towards me "for Godsake Shan, just spit it out." I looked to the ground as I started to speak
"I can't be here anymore Bex, it just ain't no good for me anymore. I need to go to a new place and find myself. I want a future. I want to proof to everyone that I can contribute to society and be a member of it, me being here, I can't do that. I'm sorry for leaving like this, but I need to sort my life out. I will be forever grateful for what you have done for me and someday, I will return the favour." My best friend of 15 years came up to me and looked into my eyes. Her face was full of anger and hatred "you ungrateful Bitch, I never want to see your ugly face again " I was about to apologise and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder when a hand came around my face, making me fall to the ground, this was followed by several kicks to my stomach, I curled up in a ball to try protect myself. "You superior bitch, you think you're better than people." Bex spat as she used my body as punch bag. After what felt like an entire lifetime, she stopped shouting and kicking me. Without looking back to see whether I was ok, she left the house. Slamming the door as she went. For a few moments I could barley move, my body felt as though it was on fire. I couldn't help wondering where the sudden anger had came from. Eventually I managed to get up and leave the flat, the first time in months.