"Every single time spend with you means something to me. It never goes wasted. I do treasure you a lot. Looking back, you were never 'just a friend i knew' to me."
She heaved out a sad sigh before continuing.
"You make me feel safe. You make me feel like i have someone who actually cares about me. You make me feel like i belong. And at that time, you let me be me.I guess that's why i didnt mind spending time doing those random stuffs with you."
She finally lets herself calm down, reminiscing the fact that both of them had their moments together not long time ago, but ofcourse, her ego and his push-and-pull tricks got us nowhere. Stucked.
The only thing that urged her to blurt out these words was that she couldnt stand how messed up and broken he looked, having difficulties coping with their crazy schedules.
"Can i copy paste that? Because i feel the same way,"
Taehyung throws some small pebbles into the drain infront of them. Atleast it came out with a 'plop' sound that helps lessen the awkward silence around them.
"yeah, i miss you tae. So much actually,"
so much it hurts. but she couldnt let herself say that.
"i miss those moments. i miss you too babygirl."
The fact that his voice did not quaver or shown any interest made her heart sink. She almost snorted out loud at his statement. 'As if he really misses me.' The way he made it sound like it was nothing. like missing her was nothing.
"dont call me that."
"hey, i used to call you that, remember" his voice, small with hints of sadness in it.
"yes, but i dont want anyone getting confused or worst, misunderstood the situation, hearing you call me that"
Y/n managed to crack a smile at him. only for a while because she quickly turn her gaze back to her shoes, avoiding his sharp brown eyes.
"i guess were both trapped in those moments but believe it or not, things have changed tae. I hate growing up. I dont even wanna be a grow up. To be honest, i miss your teasings. I miss you, being annoying. I miss you, being silly and i miss your back hugs. I miss how you would ruffle my hair and how we'd have catfights just to end up falling asleep while holding each other's hand. I miss biting you out of nowhere, us cuddling and laughing at people for no reason. I miss us running and giggling in the rain. I miss how you'd call me pabo when i blurted out stupid remarks like 'the rain smells like cotton candy' and yet you'd hold out your hand in the rain and smells it, saying 'no wait it smells like pizza!' and we'd both laughed it off. I miss the long walks at night when i cant sleep and you'd keep me company to get ice creams. I miss playing with your hair and you, tracing circular patterns with your thumb on my palm. I miss doodling on your hands when you were in between dance break and how the members would make disgusted faces just to tease us. I miss us just sitting somewhere and do nothing. I miss how we can smile at anything. That you were the only person that would cope and stand me, being clumsy and quirky as i am. I miss how we allow ourselves to have fun. I miss us, i miss you taetae,"
She was kinda suprised for being able to let that all out, despite knowing everything has changed and that it wouldnt really change anything now.
"Lets cuddle y/n. Lets just be here, not talking about those messy adult stuff and just cuddle,"
Taehyung said and starts to hum his favourite song to himself. Actually not knowing what to feel and how to react at what she just said.
'avoiding as always, yokshi uri taetae,' she thought.
