Birthday (Jung Hoseok x Reader)

Birthday

~ A/N ~

If you're dealing with depression, never be afraid to ask the people you love for help. They might just be the key to making life just a little bit more tolerable. *This fanfiction does tackle a depression episode. If you're going through depression, like me, this fanfiction may hit home. You don't have to read if you find it emotionally jarring. This fanfiction is more or less an outlet to describe what happens when I go through an episode and it may not represent everyone with Depressive Disorder.*

~

12:00 AM.

So this is it. Another year older, staring at your alarm clock from your bed. Glasses still on at midnight, unable to sleep. It had been like this for weeks now. All you could think about was how you were getting nothing done, how you were eating too much and too little, about all of the garbage piling up in your room, how dust settled on every surface and you hadn't changed your clothes in days, maybe even a couple weeks. You hadn't showered, your hair was pushed upwards, more tousled and messy than a normal bedhead because of your ineffective sleeping mask and the oil collecting in your hair due to you avoiding washing it.

This behaviour disgusted you and made you feel worse than you already did, but you haven't had the energy to do anything else but cry. You thought that life would get better once you moved away from your parents, but living alone in a small one bedroom one bathroom apartment didn't help at all. At least your mother cleaned and told you to bathe on a regular basis and your father fed you. Now, everything was piling up and your depression episodes got worse.

Even if your boyfriend and your friends tried to lift you up, you wouldn't let them in your house on a regular basis. You thought that if they saw what you had been neglecting to do, they would be disgusted and not want to be friends with you anymore. The thought of that made your heart feel heavy. All of you felt heavy, pressed into your mattress, curled up like a ball. You could barely move. You had barely any strength to.

Helloooooooo! Yes, sir, I'm one of a kind!

It's your ringtone again. You snap out of looking at your clock, slowly moving your hand to the desk next to your bed and reach through the sea of dirty dishes in order to grab your phone, squinting at the brightness as you turn it on. You unlock your phone to see a text from your boyfriend. This late? Shouldn't he be in bed?

Hobi: Happy birthday, (Y/N)!

(Y/N): Thanks, Hobi... shouldn't you be in bed?

Hobi: I'm too excited! I couldn't sleep knowing that your birthday was in a few minutes! Besides, I had to stay late at the studio.

(Y/N): Oh... you're not overworking yourself again, are you?

Hobi: No, of course not. You made me promise, remember?

(Y/N): I didn't think you took it seriously.

Hobi: Why would I not?

(Y/N): I don't know...

Hobi: Hey, are you okay?

(Y/N): Do you want me to tell the truth or say what will make you go to bed? I don't want you to be tired tomorrow. You'll get exhausted faster at dance practice.

Hobi: Who said I was going to dance practice tomorrow??? None of us are going, it's a Saturday!

(Y/N): But... you always are at the studio on Saturdays.

Hobi: Sorry, what I meant to say, it's your birthday!

(Y/N): That shouldn't stop you from working. That's more important than me.