It was a Monday morning I was on my bus. The kids were being so loud. They were getting all excited about beating bus 120 to school. This was nothing new it was annoying but I was used to it. My friends were not in the back of the bus today. I was sitting all alone. The last 6 seat only had me you and one other boy. I had scream at the little kids to shut up. As you agreed with me. You were sitting in the seat behind me I had introduced myself and you did the same. For the whole bus ride there I had told you about my ex girlfriend and what our school was like. It was your first week there so you didn't know much about the school. I told you if you ever needed someone to talk to I was there for you.
When we arrived to school you went to you're grade and I went to mine. You were a grade level lower then me. we were in the same area in the morning but I wanted to get to my friends and I also didn't know what else to say. I was very nervous around you. I didn't wanna fuck up our friendship. I passed you in the hallway we smiled at each other. When you would look away I would blush like crazy. You made me wanna be a good kid. you made me feel like I mattered. Like I was no longer disposable. Your eyes were so cute when they twinkled in the light. Your smile could make the darkest moments the brightest.
A week after we started talking not only did I get your number. But you gave me a card. It was a white hotdog folded peace of paper with a rainbow drawn on it. It said THANK YOU on the front. I opened it up and it said "thank u for showing me that its ok to be yourself" I didn't know what to say I was here in this shitty world one moment and in the next my life was ok. For once in my life.i felt needed like I was worth it. Like I had a purpose in life. As week by week went by I learned your favorite color witch is blue, your favorite movie "the fantastic beast and were to find them", your favorite movie snack sour gummy worms, and that you liked cat puns. It was purr-fect. I fell in love. We had nothing in common at first but eventually we found things to talk about. If we didn't have the same thing in common we found something to fall in love with together.
You were my soul mate. You still are. Around the Valentines day of 2017 I asked you to be my Valentine. It was in the morning I had got you a pink cupcake and I drew you a heart and a poem. You said yes. A few weeks later I asked you out. It was heaven and I loved it. Your hair was so cute and your glasses were adorable. I loved you. I would have done anything to protect you I still would. Your the most amazing person ever. Around the end of the school year was summer every summer I go up to Illinois and it was half way through summer when you told me you didn't like me anymore. You said that the day before you started to dating one of my friends. It crushed me my whole world was fliped upsidedown I felt so alone. I got myself into a lot of shit that summer. My life fell apart. It took me forever to finally feel OK. To this day I still have feeling for you. I couldn't life the weight of the world. My life was so incomplete. I was as nice as I could be. I said it was fine and that it happens but truthfully my heart felt numb It still does.
Eventually school started again. You told me you were happy with him but you wanted to stay friends. I would barely look at u for a while. But eventually we became best friends. My feelings still remained to the way they always had. But I learned to control my emotions around you. Now your my best friend I tell you everything except how I really feel about you. I will never forget our breakup. But I learn that I'm permanent that people cant erase me. I'm so happy were friends. Just sometimes you feel like more then my best friend. But I love you and I will always be there for you. You mean the world to me. My favorite quote. "Its hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember"
I fell in love. No matter what people said you ment everything to me. I can never forget the joy you made me feel. It was like a dark hole being filled with light. Like all the sadness went away. Until it came back. Then I couldn't get ride of it.
