I have friends, who are mostly supportive. But why do I feel so unsupported? Like nobody gives a fuck? Like nobody fucking cares? What have I done that I have to lead a life like this? I make friends, but then push them away, thinking they'll leave me. Like what ? Why? What is happening? No matter how hard I work in my academics, my dad will never be okay with marks. He feels I can do better, which ofcourse, if taken in positive way, is good, but why does my mind take things negatively? Why does he pressure me so much, even when I have done my best? Where are all my friends? I had so many best friends, why are they ignoring me ? What wrong have I done ? Why can't they just talk or through rather than leaving me like this ? Obviously, it must be me, my fault, somewhere or other, but I'm sorry, please come back, I miss you terribly. I am so done with life. I want to die. I want to run away from the all. I want everything to stop. I want to be happy. I want to be successful. I want to laugh. I want to enjoy everything. Why is this happening to me? Why? I try my best to keep myself busy, be productive. But at the end of the day, I feel the same. It's always gonna stay the same. No matter how much my psychiatrist makes me understand that things will get better, I don't feel better. I never will. Maybe this sadness is just born within. Generic depression, maybe. But who knows? I don't care anymore. I want to die.
