Carrying on

Chapter One

Lockwood was indeed waiting for me in the hall. He was leaning against the wall, hands in the pockets of his new coat, his eyes staring at nothing in particular.
The noise I made as I inelegantly descended the stairs caused Lockwood to turn his attention to me. He flashed one of his trademark grins. 'Ready?'
'Ready.'
Lockwood was right - it was a lovely evening. The air was not cold nor warm, but still fresh under the grey and pink sky; birds were still singing in the distance, and the laughter of children could be heard from other houses on the street. It made me truly grateful that we no longer had to endure anymore visits to the Other Side.
We walked at a steady pace, with no particular destination in mind. Lockwood walked very close to me. I was first to break the silence. 'Lockwood, thank you, for the necklace. It really is beautiful.'
He continued to look ahead, but he wore a soft smile on his face. 'You're welcome, Luce.'
I thought back to when I first laid my eyes on the bright sapphires of the necklace, and looked at Lockwood. 'When you first showed it to me, before Winkman and his men showed up, you were going to ask me something.'
Lockwood turned to look at me, the soft smile still in place. 'Was I?'
'Yes. And I wanted to know what you were going to ask.'
There was a pause before he spoke again. 'I was going to ask if you would have liked to have gone on a date with me,' he said. 'You know, after all that stuff with Winkman, Gale and Marissa blew over. That probably wasn't the best time to ask, come to think of it, but there was a chance - although very slim - that we wouldn't make it, and I wanted to make sure you knew how I felt.'
My cheeks grew warm. Lockwood continued to gaze at me. 'If I did manage to ask you, back then, what would you have said?'
'I think me being here with you answers your question.'
Lockwood chuckled. 'True, but it still would have been nice to hear you say yes.'
It was a while before either of us spoke again. The sky grew darker still, but the last rays of sun could still be seen.
Eventually we reached a park. As it was nearly nightfall, it was deserted. Lockwood and I chose to sit side by side on the swings in companionable silence. As I slowly started to rock back and forth, Lockwood blew out a breath.
'Although I thought we could both use some fresh air, what with all the paint fumes from George's rapid painting, there is another reason why I asked you to join me this evening, Luce.'
I continued to rock back and forth. 'What is it?'
Lockwood did not look at me, instead he kept his eyes straight ahead, his facial expression unlike the one I'm used to; he no longer looked calm and at ease, as he did in almost every situation. He looked nervous. It was such an unusual look for him that I didn't quite know how to feel.
'Lucy. You're one of my closest companions - no wait - you are my closest companion. When I'm with you, I feel like I can do anything. Like I can tell you anything, and you won't judge me. You've saved me and had my back countless times. You are truly remarkable.'
He looked even more nervous now; almost ill.
'Lockwood-,' He held up a hand, and the pained look on his face made me stop talking. Not that I knew what to say anyway.
'Please, Luce, let me finish. Ever since you joined my company, I've grown quite fond of you. I liked having you on my team. Loved it, even. And although you and George had a rocky start, he felt the same way,' Lockwood took a deep breath. The pained look still hadn't gone from his face. 'And when you left us, left me, it was as if I'd lost a limb or something. Sure, we had Holly, but she could never compare to you. George and I were both upset, distraught, even, and after a few weeks, George got used to your absence. But me? I couldn't stand not having you on my team, not living with us, not helping us with a case. It drove George and Holly mad.' He let out a small laugh and his face - thank god - looked a little more relaxed now. 'It was then that I realised that I may have much, much stronger feelings for you than just fondness. I still remember when you agreed to come and work with us again, I felt so happy, even though we were holding on to a frozen chain, surrounded by a dozen spirits and wearing silly feathered cloaks. And seeing around the house again, even if it was just seeing the mess you had made while making breakfast, God, I felt as if I could breathe again. Since then I've been trying to find a way to tell you, to express just how much you mean to me.'
I stopped rocking back and forth on my swing. The sky was almost fully dark now, the air a bit chillier. I couldn't think of anything to say. What was I supposed to say to something as heartfelt as that? I decided to do what I do best: wing it.
'You mean a lot to me too. The world, in fact. Remember that La Belle Dame Sans Merci case? Well, when you were ensnared by her, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, my heart was beating so fast. I even swung from a trapeze for you! If that isn't true dedication and devotion, I don't know what is.' Lockwood's smile right then made my heart ache. 'I guess what I'm trying to say is: my feelings for you are also much stronger than just fondness.'
There was no denying it; neither of us knew what to do or say next. The silence that followed the conversation wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but it was certainly not comfortable either. Lockwood stood up from his swing. He still had a smile on his face. 'It's getting late, we should get back before George sends out a search party.'
We began to walk back to 35 Portland Row. I felt light, as if I was walking on air. I couldn't stop smiling. I swung my arms more as I walked. Lockwood seemed to notice my good mood, because he chuckled before his had suddenly grasped mine. I looked down at our interlocked fingers, the way Lockwood's thumb gently brushed my hand. I never wanted to forget this moment.