The Big Book of My Kagepro Headcanons

Roombas

-The whole roomba catastrophe started when Shintaro ordered a red roomba off of Amazon. He really did mean well. He felt bad for Haruka, who often was assigned the chore of vacuuming. Also, Shintaro was worried about Haruka climbing the stairs and standing too long because of his health issues.

-So the roomba arrives, Shintaro sets it up, and the Kokonoses, Mary, and Seto are fascinated by it. They all follow it around everywhere (making Shintaro very confused) until Haruka has a brilliant idea.

-Haruka stops the roomba, and by this time, the entire Dan is gathered around the roomba. Everyone watches in amazement (and confusion) as Haruka mounts the roomba, turns it back on, and rides it to the other end of the room.

-This lasts for about five seconds. Kuroha, being Kuroha, pushes Haruka off the roomba and jumps on. Mary, Konoha, Seto, Hibiya, Momo, and Ayano rush in, all wanting their turn on the roomba. Chaos ensues.

-Finally, Shintaro uses the remote to shut down the roomba. He picks it up and brings it back to his own apartment, much to everyone else's dismay. Exasperated, he sarcastically comments, "If you want to ride a roomba, buy one yourself!"

-Shintaro didn't actually expect them to buy roombas. He stays in his apartment for a week doing some work (I hc that he's an at-home worker for sth like NASA, but I'll talk more about that in later chapters.) While he's in the middle of testing something, he gets a call from Kido. This is concerning because Kido rarely uses her phone, and when she does, she's usually talking to Momo. She NEVER calls people, she only texts.

-Shintaro picks up to hear a very stressed Kido begging him to come to the hideout because something's happened to Momo. For some reason, she tells him to bring his roomba. He doesn't question it, and grabs the roomba, sprints out the door, and jumps in his car. He almost got pulled over for speeding, which he never does.

-He opens the door to be greeted by absolute chaos. EVERYONE in the dan is riding their own roomba. Ayano, Kido, Seto, Kano, Mary, and Momo are wearing red face paint, while Takane, Hibiya, Hiyori, Kuroha, Haruka, and Konoha are wearing black face paint. For some reason, Kuroha is shirtless and absolutely covered in the black paint, while Ayano is only wearing a bra and is similarly covered in the crimson paint. Before Shintaro can say anything, Kido yells to him that Momo's in the kitchen.

-Roomba in hand, Shintaro rushes to the kitchen to find a perfectly healthy Momo sitting next to an orange roomba. She says "Ah, you came! My roomba died, so Kuroha's team has an unfair advantage. We can't let him win!"

-At first Shintaro is furious. He yells at Momo, saying how he thought she was dying and how worried he was, then he goes back into the living room, where the game is still going on. He storms over to Kuroha (who's facing the other direction) and literally punts him off his roomba. He then stands in the center of the room and demands that someone tell him what the hell is going on before he sells every single roomba on eBay. 

-As the dan explains, Shintaro's anger fades as he realizes it's just an innocent game and that he overreacted. Kido apologizes for making Shintaro think something serious happened to Momo, as that was not her intention. 

-The rules of Roomba Push are simple: Two teams, the heroes and the serpents try to push each other's leader off their roomba. Each leader has five defenders. Defenders can only push the other team's defenders off. Leaders can push either defenders or the other leader off. When a defender is pushed off, they must take a five minute penalty on the sidelines. If a team's leader is pushed off, the opposite team recovers all its defenders. The goal of the game is to push the opposite team's leader off the roomba a total of three times.

-The players hold their breath as Shintaro considered. They watch as he goes into the kitchen and wonder if he'll come back. Moments later, he strides back in, two red paint lines under his eyes.

-Shintaro lets out one of his rare smiles as he says, "Kuroha, you're going down."