It is currently 1:40 pm, today I woke up at 10am I ate breakfast and watched a little tv. After I got done watching tv I had to use the bathroom. While using the bathroom I had examined the cuts I had placed on my thigh two days earlier. The cuts were now crusty and a little bruised around the edges. I used the bathroom and washed my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror for a little and I was filled with disgust. I hate everything about myself and I don't think it'll ever change. I started to regret eating breakfast this morning and the thought of purging crossed my mind, but I didn't do it at least not today. I laid down after that and listened to music for a little, music is mostly what gets me through the day. Then I decided to write this story just because I thought I could inform everyday people about what goes through my head everyday. What has been running through my head today is that, I'm worthless, ugly, and I realized no one would ever love me.
PHILOPHOBIA
It's something I have and have had for a while. Even though I'm scared of everyone hating me and never being loved philophobia is what I have, and it's crazy to have such a combination but not really. What is philophobia? Philophobia is the fear of loving or being in love with someone. Yes, that's my problem I really desperately want to be loved and I want to mean everything to someone, to be their world, but I've experienced so much heartache that I'm mentally scared of this ever happening. Those are my thoughts of today though.
Until tomorrow,
-Sincerely, Sierra🖤
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Life being depressed...
RandomHey, just to let you know I leave a song at the top for you to listen to, everyday is a different song depending on what I decide to put there. Have a great day and don't forget to vote on my chapters. ...
