Denying Feelings

5. Nursing Amadeo

My lips are not a virgin anymore.

Yes, I kissed a guy and the guy is Amadeo Ricci that happened to be the guy I despise the most due to his ignoble treats towards all girls.

I groan in frustration and stare my reflection on the mirror in disbelief. I can't believe I let my guard down last night.

If I may be honest, last night was probably the funnest thing that I ever did with Deo. Considering that we always ended up yelling or bickering at each other. I never know that I could literally have fun with Amadeo Ricci, it's just beyond my imagination. Not even in my wildest dream that I imagine myself get along well with him.

When I saw Amadeo kissing a girl in his arms in front of the front door few nights ago, I felt nauseous as usual but I noticed that unlike usual nauseous that always encouraged me to throw up, last night I felt like burning. I felt my stomach was tied into a tight knot and I was boiling.

To be honest, before my conscience started to being bitch I knew that I was feeling jealousy.

Well, that certainly wasn't suppose to happen. So, I couldn't help but snort internally and laugh sarcastically at the word of jealousy.

There is no way that I'm jealous when I found he's kissing someone else, it's not something new. I always witnessed his filthy and disgusting make out sessions with his bitches on the backstage. So, no. I denied hardly that I felt jealousy over the girl inside his arms.

I cleared my throat few nights ago to break their kiss and it surprisingly worked. Deo whispered something in the girl's ear before dismissed her from his penthouse.

I snorted internally again when I heard that he explained me as his cousin at the girl.

The next thing was just normal, we talked normally and Amadeo was back at his usual self. Smirking, teasing, and flirting like there was no tomorrow.

As like what I told you guys, Amadeo Ricci is the epitome of most idiotic, most brainless, and most fatuous guy in the world.

I was furious when I found that he answered Gio's call. At the first I was pretty surprised when I heard Deo talked furiously with someone, and I thought that it was just his unfinished business that night but then he was talking with brother. With my fucking brother and it was such a disrespectful shit that he ever did to me.

Honestly, I wasn't mad at the fact that he answered my called. I was mad he talked so rude at my own brother, I always respect him, he is the only family I have left. At least the only one who occasionally checks me up and genuinely cares for me. I told you that he wasn't different with my parents but I love him so much. So it hurted me like a bitch when Amadeo confessed that he told my brother to stay away from me.

What the hell, the one who should stay the fuck away from me is him.

The next day was worse because I kinda realized that I was too much on Deo last night. So, I went out from his penthouse early in the morning and I ended up having breakfast at nearest café. I avoided him for the rest of the day, not because that I was mad at him, but more like I was mortified at myself because I was too much on him last night. I felt so lazy to face Deo at lunch so I decided to dropped by at Carmine's apartment and thankfully her brother wasn't home.

When we were having our lunch together inside her apartment, she couldn't stopped being suspicious at me. I didn't blame her since I always visited her when I did something wrong. She bombarded with questions but I surprisingly managed my lips sealed and didn't spill a single thing to her, remembering how close I am with her.

When she didn't feel satisfy with my curt answers, I took it as my cue to leave her apartment and surprised with what I saw in Deo's apartment.

He was there, standing in the kitchen behind the counter while holding a board that written 'I'm sorry' and foods were spreaded on the whole counter. Honestly, I was one step close to crying but watched him in disbelief when he said he was sorry. I was overwhelmed. No one ever did this to me so I forgot to apologize for being too much at him.