Chapter 1

I remember how death loved to whisper in my ears, and how terrified I was of it, but now it seems alright. Let's face it, everyone's bound to die but the question is: when? For me, that question is about to be answered.

The hospital room's very quiet, maybe because my mom's afraid of losing me - her only daughter. My inner kitten tried channeling positive vibes but it didn't seem to work.

I can hear Dr. Pat's heels clinking on the nice shiny hospital floor, my inner kitten starts to panic.

She's holding a big file and she sat on the chair next to my bed. The room starts tensing up, and so do I. I could feel my shoulder muscles crunching and couldn't seem to relax.

She tried opening up her mouth but words just couldn't seem to come out, I prepare myself for the worst, she cleared her throat,

"According to test results, Miss Fernsby, your body is struggling to compromise,"

I looked at her my heart suddenly stopped beating, it felt so heavy, and for a minute, I thought it was going to drop to the groud. I know what that means, everyone knows what it means. It means that now I can ask her my question.

"How much longer do I have to live?" my voice was shaky and I tugged on to my blanket for comfort.

"Approximately 3 months, but with chemo, maybe a little longer."

"Like I said before, I don't want chemo" I said it with such a cold tone.

Dr.Pat left, and I can hear the sound of her clinking heels getting softer and softer. I looked at my mom, she had her face burried in her hands, sobbing softly, as though if she was trying to stay strong but couldn't.

I couln't do anything, I can't comfort her because I'm the one who made her cry.

I asked my mom to get the nurse and sign me out of here, but all she did was just look at me with her soft brown eyes, filled with tears. I wanted to try to make her feel better.

"Mom, Dr.Pat said approximately, that means about, and we know how strong I am, I'm going to beat cancer's ass ok? And if I don't I'm going to live longer than that, so stop crying and lets get out of here and home."

My mom tried laughing but it came out a cough, she smiled at me and walked through the door.

After a while, a nurse came in and got me out of bed and onto a wheelchair.

My mom wheeled me out of the hospital and into her car.

The whole journey was quiet, until mom asked me what I'd like to eat.

Pizza.

That's what I wanted, pizza.

"Pizza."

My mom said alright, so why not?

We drove to the nearest Dominos because I hate Pizza Hut.

My mom asked me to get a seat while she parks.

I sat on the table and order a large pepperoni pizza, to be honest, I never had quite the appetite ever since Leu (that's what I call my leukaemia) came in, it's funny to think that when I wasn't sick I'd always worry about my weight and wether I should be eating pizza, but now that I'm sick I can't even swallow pizza if I wanted to, my tummy will eventually twist and turn and gag it out.

Oh wells, I sat there waiting for my mother thinking how it'll be when I'm gone, then I thought to myself, why think about how things will be after I'm gone and not think about what I'm going to do before I die?

I asked for a pen from the waiter and wrote on the serviette:

Elle's bucket list

1. Try weed

2. Go on 20 dates

3. Lose my virginity

4. Eat a fried grasshopper

Mom came in and sat next to me I quickly hid the paper and sat on it.

A short while after, the pizza came, and I had no appetite at all, but I had to eat.

I took a slice and chewed, I was so hungry but had no appetite, so I chewed and chewed, it was so delicious, but I just couldn't seem to swallow, it just wouldn't go down and I had to try several attempts.

Before Leu came, I could have a whole large box of pizza and now I can't even finish a slice.

It just seems kind of sad how my tummy wants to enjoy something but my body just wouldn't let it.

The whole meal was really quiet, we paid and we went home.

The whole car ride I was crunching my fists, and in it was my bucket list.

The first thing I do when I'm home, is run to my room, lock myself in it, took off my coat, and wrote more things on my bucket list.

5. Experience something movie-like

6. LEAVE MY NAME BEHIND

7. Drive

The reason why 'LEAVE MY NAME BEHIND' was in capital letters is because that was the most important part of the bucket list, one I HAD to try to make it come true.

Why?

Because I don't want to be remembered as the girl who had cancer and died just like that, I want my name to be left behind, to be remembered forever.

I laid on my bed staring at the fairy lights I had on my ceiling, and thought to myself: I better get started before I die. But like what? What can I do right now?

DRIVE!

That was what came into my mind.

I wore my coat and ran downstairs, took my mom's keys to the SUV.

This is what I'm going to do.

Drive.

I'm going to drive illegally, without a license.

I went in the car and fired it up.

I stepped on the pedal and SHIT!

Plain old shit.

Author's note:

Hey guys, I really hope you liked it, I'll be updating every week. As for the next chapter, I'll be updating it next Thursday. If you liked it, remember to vote and favourite, and leave a comment if you have ideas for me to improve. (by the way, my spelling's in British, because I'm Malaysian and we used to be concurred by the British)